jackassworld

In the first official semi-pre-produced segment of the Purple Pony Chronicles, Shanna sits down with her two favorite sexual advisors, Steve-O and Chris Pontius, with director Johnny Knoxville offscreen. Right out of the gate the three discuss awkward scenarios that arise from poor sexual hygiene, which prompts Steve-O to display how he’s let himself go in the pubic region of late. Following the bemused response to a question about finding a cure for premature male ejaculation, Chris and Steve-O reminisce about the series of backseat beat-off contests that took place between them on the 2001 Gumball Rally. Springboarding from matters of the wiener to expounding upon the vagina, the boys address everything from foul odors and how to address them to the predicament of throwing a hot dog down Main Street. And it just wouldn’t be a Purple Pony show without the perennial standby question: “Given the choice between a really great blowjob and actual sex, what would a guy choose?”

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Well, I’d have to say Danger Ehren really lived up to his namesake in this episode of Shanna’s “Purple Pony Chronicles.” In Part 1, Shanna discusses “who” exactly is sitting on the couch with her and what his sexual orientation might be. She then poses solicited queries from the community with Katie! leading the questioning charge, unsurprisingly, and ol’ dirty Deborah pulling a hard, strong second…and third. Shanna slowly gets more and more creeped out by Ehren’s comments, but then gets full-blown disgusted when he reveals his penchant for “pound-fucking” to the Melvins and flagrant use of the “P-word.” (more…)

This jackassworld live replay starts off startlingly different than most, as it’s not Rick Kosick you will see hosting the show but in fact Jeff Tremaine. Not only that, but he’s wearing a diaper. We all are. The reason for this regressive garb and unorthodox show is simple, we’re having a party—a Depends Party! So grab a drink, don a diaper, and piss yourself silly as you watch the jackassworld crew experience the wonder of pissing themselves in the prime of their mid-life, a time when they can all genuinely revel in the novelty of willful incontinence. (more…)

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Here’s the one that everyone has been waiting for with baited breath and that funny tickle you get in your butt when sexy talk is made. For those who missed out on the live show last week, here’s the recap in brief: the Purple Pony’s usual host, Shanna, was out-of-town attending to Jeff Tremaine’s wanton wants and needs in the field. In lieu of her lovely presence, Chris Pontius was kind enough to step up and fill her sizable bra by fielding questions from the community about the complicated and messier aspects of sex, love, and relationships. (more…)

Today, Thursday, June 26, at 5:00pm PST*, Chris Pontius will be filling in live for Shanna as the “head” physician-in-charge on her “Purple Pony” show. Shanna is traveling with and attending to our emperor Jeff Tremaine as he travels abroad in New Jersey. While she is away, Mr. Pontius will field your questions and offer advice in many areas (most of which you probably weren’t even asking about in the first place). It should be a very insightful and interesting show, and we would like you to please submit your questions about the birds and the bees right here in the comments section below. We will see to it that Mr. Pontius tries to enlighten as many of you as possible. See you in the showers.* http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/

Okay, so I’d mentioned this geographic debacle in last Friday’s news post, but here’s the video proof of our little girl lost in the land she lives. To Shanna’s defense, she was able to correctly identify the whereabouts of California, Texas, and Florida, although none of these achievements are shown here. (more…)

“i am having a great time in africa. tomorrow i am going on safari and then I’m heading up towards mozambique. i am learning to speak zulu and, to be honest, i think my penis is growing every day!”
—chris pontius, in an email update from africa

“wolfie’s gonna learn something today—get the flip cam out.”
—seth casriel, just before teaching greg wolf how to export a video clip

“i love giving sex advice. i did get a ‘c’ in sex ed, but my knowledge really comes from in the field experience.”
—shanna zablow, on her proposed new column for jackassworld (more…)