quotes
“i’m not really gay … i’m more of a jack-off in front of the mirror guy.”
—chris pontius
“would anyone mind if i stabbed kosick?”
—johnny knoxville, while holding a fork at dinner with the crew following the one bourbon shoot with mike judge (three days later he stabbed sean cliver instead)
“his eyes pour forth light from heaven.”
—lauren graham, describing her jared leto sighting in hollywood
“if you drown with a life vest on you are a loser.”
—rick kosick, talking to wolfie about learning to swim
“don’t thank me, thank kfc.”
—preston lacy, on his being great boat ballast for wakesurfing
“i didn’t even know he did it i’m so blown out down there.”
—johnny knoxville, after returning from a routine urethra check-up at the doctor’s office
“we all have our addictions. some of us buy crack. others buy obscure k-tel records from the ’70s.”
—mike g., defending wolfie’s … elclectic? … music collection
“if i do this all day will you guys do my work for me?”
—shanna, while trying her hands at the shake weight™
“your grandmother is a fucking whore. because you know who makes stuff with velvet? whores.”
—jeff tremaine, complimenting one of the nitro circus editors on his velvet jacket
more quotes
The following quotes were all selected by Lauren Graham, who is currently the sucker—I mean, director for the always forthcoming Big Brother Memoir
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Before I go to bed at night I usually do one last check of my email to insure there are no unwelcome surprises awaiting me in the morning. Last night was no exception, and thank god I did because it sent me straight to bed with a smile on my face.
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quotes of the week
“why am i looking at someone’s dick in a picture frame?”
—eddie barbanell, while working on a computer situated below the pricasso painting of dave carnie
“that’d be more like ‘parkook.’”
—trip taylor, on the idea of wolfie participating in a show about parcour
“he should have saved his money from rehab and went to dancin’ school.”
—roger alan wade, after watching steve-o on dancing with the stars
“god, i wish we could find a manhole … story of my life.”
—johnny knoxville (more…)
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“exactly how much are you hanging out with dimitry? i'm concerned for your well being.”
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Sean Cliver, the man, the myth, the legend turns 40 today. He's written the majority of the posts here on jackassworld.com, so if you don't know who he is you are definitely not with the program.
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“friendly fire! who fucking cares!”
—rick kosick, when derek freda reprimanded him for almost killing mike g. with a baseball bat
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