jackassworld

As soon as “Bush Diving” hit the schedule, I immediately thought, “Shit, since this is Ehren McGhehey’s baby, he’ll probably want to say a few words about it.” So I asked him. And I was right. He had a few words to say. Very few. Fifteen, in fact, and here they all are: “Bush diving is fun and dangerous. Watch out for thorns and crabs. Remember safety first.” Thanks, Ehren. (more…)

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Well, I’d have to say Danger Ehren really lived up to his namesake in this episode of Shanna’s “Purple Pony Chronicles.” In Part 1, Shanna discusses “who” exactly is sitting on the couch with her and what his sexual orientation might be. She then poses solicited queries from the community with Katie! leading the questioning charge, unsurprisingly, and ol’ dirty Deborah pulling a hard, strong second…and third. Shanna slowly gets more and more creeped out by Ehren’s comments, but then gets full-blown disgusted when he reveals his penchant for “pound-fucking” to the Melvins and flagrant use of the “P-word.” (more…)

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“It’s a shame the flame must melt the candle to survive,

And the train must leave the station to survive,

The honeybee leads the thieves back to the hive,

What’s killin’ me is barely keeping me alive.”

Those lyrics are from a song called “10,000 Candles” by my cousin, country singer Roger Alan Wade. He wrote those lyrics and he earned those lyrics the hard way. Thirty years of “what’s killin’ me is barely keeping me alive” really did almost kill him, and 168 days ago Rog’ entered rehab and has been clean ever since.

Being clear and present has done cuz’ nice too. He has got a new album out called Stoned Traveler and it’s consistently in the top ten on the Amazon country charts. He is also touring the US for the first time ever. My girlfriend and I got to catch him in Austin and he received a standing ovation his first night at the Saxon pub. I almost cried. Actually, I think I did. Rog’ has been at it for over three decades and to see everything coming together for him now means more to me and my family than I can express in words. My cousin is drenched in talent and the truth. He once remarked, “All you want out of a drug dealer or an artist is honesty,” and his music is honest. Thank god he is no longer concerned with the veracity of the aforementioned drug dealer. And thank god for the new life and momentum he now has. In honor of my cousin, his music, and the sleep deprived angels that are watching over him, today’s show will be called “No Bourbon, No Scotch, and No Beer.” Roger, I love you and I am more proud of you than you will ever know. Onward and forward and love.

Your Cousin, PJ (can’t sign Knoxville to rog’)

P.S. I want to thank Dale Watson for coming to his show in Austin at the Saxon pub and for inviting Rog’ to sing onstage with him at the Broken Spoke afterwards. What a grand, sweet blessing Dale, thanks so much. Also, I want to thank Connie and Amy Nelson for being so kind period. And I would like to really thank them for being so kind to Roger and helping him get those shows in Austin. Thanks for coming to the shows, too, Connie. Dale, Connie, and Amy, you opened your heart up to Rog’ and helped open Austin’s eyes to his music in the process. As Ernest Tubb would say, “Thanks, thanks a lot.”

Okay, here we go again with that shy, demure, little wallflower, Eddie Barbanell. We filmed this the same day we filmed the weatherman bit and oh boy am I happy with the way it came out. You see, aside from playing over-sexed weatherman Hauser Bush, Eddie Barbanell is also a classically trained actor. He has performed Shakespeare many times on the stage and will quote passages of Shakespearean dialogue 15 minutes or longer to anyone who will listen. Actually, you don’t even have to WANT to listen. Eddie is going to perform it for you whether you like it or not. Just ask our editor-in-chief Seth Casriel. Ha ha ha… By the way, after a tough negotiation, Eddie has now procured Seth to be his new agent. So please forward any commercial or theatrical requests for Eddie to Seth at jackassworld. Okay then, I have to stop writing now because Eddie is calling on the phone and he gets pissed if it rings more than four times before I answer. What a diva, sheesh. AWOOOOOO!

—Johnny Knoxville

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Mat Hoffman is obsessed with flight. Unfortunately for him, he isn’t that concerned with landing. As you know (and if you don’t) Mat Hoffman is the modern day equivalent to Evel Knievel. He is the most legendary BMX rider of all time, and he also happens to be one of the sweetest men I have ever met—the gnarliest man I have ever met, yet completely gentle and humble. What a huge and singular spirit! (more…)

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Here’s the one that everyone has been waiting for with baited breath and that funny tickle you get in your butt when sexy talk is made. For those who missed out on the live show last week, here’s the recap in brief: the Purple Pony’s usual host, Shanna, was out-of-town attending to Jeff Tremaine’s wanton wants and needs in the field. In lieu of her lovely presence, Chris Pontius was kind enough to step up and fill her sizable bra by fielding questions from the community about the complicated and messier aspects of sex, love, and relationships. (more…)

Seth Casriel may have his Wolf Den, but JxPx Blackmon has his shady prop room. So come along and enjoy, as our esteemed shady propmaster delves into the towering stacks of jackass and Wildboyz crap from absurd days gone by. You’ll see stuff like Steve-O’s fart mask, Wee Man’s ornamental cap from Thailand, Johnny Knoxville’s strap-on dildo kit, a festive assortment of Santa outfits, Bam’s infamous golden dildo, Rip Taylor’s confetti sticks, Chief Roberts’ former steed, Chico Fiesta’s Mexican party hat, and a whole bunch of other random props, garments, and gear. Best of all, a dirty peek inside the “Sexy Bag” with all its sordid man briefs and more (or less), and a scary look into the “Box of Stuff that Sucks” (or doesn’t, if you happen to be Mister Merlin).

Today, Thursday, June 26, at 5:00pm PST*, Chris Pontius will be filling in live for Shanna as the “head” physician-in-charge on her “Purple Pony” show. Shanna is traveling with and attending to our emperor Jeff Tremaine as he travels abroad in New Jersey. While she is away, Mr. Pontius will field your questions and offer advice in many areas (most of which you probably weren’t even asking about in the first place). It should be a very insightful and interesting show, and we would like you to please submit your questions about the birds and the bees right here in the comments section below. We will see to it that Mr. Pontius tries to enlighten as many of you as possible. See you in the showers.* http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/

In today’s jackassworld live replay, Rick Kosick takes a tour of our backyard, or rather your backyard, seeing as you’re the community and we’re just the noisome slum lords. So sit back and meet your fellow neighbors, as Rick commentates on the various profile pages, or at least those he was “friends” with because he found himself barred from viewing Katie and Scented Glue (others, like Emma, might have preferred to remain anonymous, but such is life at the top). Any voices heard from the off-camera peanut gallery could belong to Josh, Seth, Mike, or myself, but Loomis Fall and future Tom Green guest Gregory Wolf do make full-frontal appearances at episode’s end.