jackassworld

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Stephen Chao is a motherfucker. He is a true visionary, brilliant and a complete juvenile delinquent. He is not scared. Fear was told “fuck you” at the entrance to his brain. That has served him well in his storied  show business career, and it has also bit him in the hiney a couple of times as well. (more…)

So the other day I sat down with the WWE’s Great Khali for a “One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer.” Aside from the time I watched Umaga fight Pontius and Steve-O, I haven’t kept up with professional wrestling since I was little. (By the way, if you haven’t seen Pontius and Steve-O wrestle Umaga then do yourself a favor and check it out online somewhere. Steve-O gets the shit kicked out of him and had to see a doctor afterwards. Heh heh…) Anyway, someone sent me a photo of the Great Khali staring down at Mike Tyson (who was in a mask), and I thought it looked pretty hilarious. The guy is fucking huge, so I thought it might be cool to sit down and interview him for the show. Well, it was pretty cool … for a little bit, anyway. I don’t know if this guy is touchy about the certain area of the body that I asked him about or if he just hated me and simply wanted to leave. Whatever the reason, he bailed about five minutes into the show. For the record, this is the first “One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer” that has ended bad—or good, depending on how you look at it. Heh heh… Anyway, I don’t know who lit the fuse on the Great Khali’s tampon, but here is the shortest show we have ever done.

Sincerely, Knoxville

P.S. After reading the comments below for the Great Khali interview, I agree with some of our community members that maybe the reason for the Great Khali’s bilious reaction has something to do with the blog I wrote about the African penis thieves. Maybe he thought I took or shrunk his tallywhacker. Or maybe he just walked in that way! Anyway, if you haven’t checked out the African penis thieves article, now would be a perfect time.

article- african penis thieves

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Johnny Knoxville sits down to talk with longtime professional skateboarder and mini-mogul Rob Dyrdek.

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“It’s a shame the flame must melt the candle to survive,

And the train must leave the station to survive,

The honeybee leads the thieves back to the hive,

What’s killin’ me is barely keeping me alive.”

Those lyrics are from a song called “10,000 Candles” by my cousin, country singer Roger Alan Wade. He wrote those lyrics and he earned those lyrics the hard way. Thirty years of “what’s killin’ me is barely keeping me alive” really did almost kill him, and 168 days ago Rog’ entered rehab and has been clean ever since.

Being clear and present has done cuz’ nice too. He has got a new album out called Stoned Traveler and it’s consistently in the top ten on the Amazon country charts. He is also touring the US for the first time ever. My girlfriend and I got to catch him in Austin and he received a standing ovation his first night at the Saxon pub. I almost cried. Actually, I think I did. Rog’ has been at it for over three decades and to see everything coming together for him now means more to me and my family than I can express in words. My cousin is drenched in talent and the truth. He once remarked, “All you want out of a drug dealer or an artist is honesty,” and his music is honest. Thank god he is no longer concerned with the veracity of the aforementioned drug dealer. And thank god for the new life and momentum he now has. In honor of my cousin, his music, and the sleep deprived angels that are watching over him, today’s show will be called “No Bourbon, No Scotch, and No Beer.” Roger, I love you and I am more proud of you than you will ever know. Onward and forward and love.

Your Cousin, PJ (can’t sign Knoxville to rog’)

P.S. I want to thank Dale Watson for coming to his show in Austin at the Saxon pub and for inviting Rog’ to sing onstage with him at the Broken Spoke afterwards. What a grand, sweet blessing Dale, thanks so much. Also, I want to thank Connie and Amy Nelson for being so kind period. And I would like to really thank them for being so kind to Roger and helping him get those shows in Austin. Thanks for coming to the shows, too, Connie. Dale, Connie, and Amy, you opened your heart up to Rog’ and helped open Austin’s eyes to his music in the process. As Ernest Tubb would say, “Thanks, thanks a lot.”

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Mat Hoffman is obsessed with flight. Unfortunately for him, he isn’t that concerned with landing. As you know (and if you don’t) Mat Hoffman is the modern day equivalent to Evel Knievel. He is the most legendary BMX rider of all time, and he also happens to be one of the sweetest men I have ever met—the gnarliest man I have ever met, yet completely gentle and humble. What a huge and singular spirit! (more…)

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So I have been “in” show business for eight years now and have met a fair share of famous people. Some are okay, some are assholes, and nearly every one of them is affected. I have met a handful, though, who are as exactly as you wish them to be. (more…)

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This is what happens when two loud-mouthed hillbillies get together. For the first two minutes of this interview, all we pretty much do is drink. Heh heh… Also, I would like to point out that I gave Dale a WHOLE GALLON of Tennessee moonshine and that bastard gave me THREE-FOURTHS of a pint of Virginia moonshine. (more…)

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So this is the first installment of our newest show here on jackassworld, “One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer.” It’s basically a bi-monthly excuse to have a few drinks with people we find interesting. Your’s truly will be hosting and pouring the hooch. It’s nothin’ too formal…just me and another som’ bitch shootin’ the shit. This week’s som’ bitch is actor/writer/director Jay Chandrasekhar. Jay’s real name is Jayanth Jumbulingam Chandrasekhar. Translated in Indian that means—and I shit you not—Victorious Large Penis Rising Moon. Is that not the greatest, yet most inaccurate name you’ve ever heard!? Ha ha ha… Anyway here is, “One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer.” Like my cousin Roger says, “It ain’t too good, but it’s long.”

Love,

Johnny Knoxville