
Hey, Russia! America used to be at odds with them and now we’re not. Sort of. It’s no longer a Cold War, I know that much, but every so often you hear something in the news that leads me to believe it’s more of a Tepid Friendship. At least by way of politics, because people are people and even though we have different needs we’re all made out of the same stuff: blood, guts, musculature, bones, and a fancy skin suit to zip it all up and hold everything in place. Sometimes I’m not so sure that the supposed advantage our brains possess over every other living thing on planet Earth is a good thing, because it’s all the “other stuff” that just gets in the way of essentially being human. So can’t we all just be humans and get on with getting on already? On that Utopian note, I’d like to extend a happy birthday to late American novelist, supreme satirist, and humanist Kurt Vonnegut. Your bodily presence is sorely missed, but thank you for leaving your legacy of thoughts and words behind. Anyway, were it not for Mother Russia finally dropping her iron-clad Soviet issue skirt in 1991, the Wildboyz would not have had this opportunity to go play amateur soldiers of fortune for a day and joyride/joyfire expensive military hardware. God bless you, Mr. Gorbachev!
more loomis fall
Loomis is an anomaly. While other people fret, fritter, and wile away the day worrying about their dietary intake and strategies, Loomis has maintained a more or less consistent diet of Pop Tarts and Captain Morgan (excepting that time in Ireland when he switched to fish and red wine). You would think this unorthodox form of sustenance would surely affect him in some manner, right? But the thing is, no, he looks exactly the same as he did when I first met him twelve years ago (aside from minor wardrobe changes). So on one hand it leads you to believe that preservatives really are a good thing. On the other it totally debunks that whole nutritional pyramid scheme. (No surprise there … I’ve always suspected it was a sham to begin with, one most likely designed, propagated, and financially bolstered by undisclosed special interests groups and the Illuminati, hence its striking similarity to the secret society’s chief icon.) Stupid food chart. (more…)