jackassworld

Admittedly this should have been our “back to school” video in September, but I’d forgotten all about it until seeing Shanna’s cheery face in today’s photo selection. So yes, here’s our little girl lost in the land she lives (to Shanna’s defense, she was able to correctly identify the whereabouts of California, Texas, and Florida, although none of these achievements are shown here). Call us big meanies, cans of spotted dick, whatever … it’s not like we’d grilled her to rattle off all those independent sovereign splinters of the former Soviet Union, like the Stans and all their cousins, e.g. Georgia, Ukraine, Moldova, some random ass place called Azerbaijan (are you fucking kidding me?), and a host of other confusing names and places. Shit, you know, people were all giddy when the Iron Curtain finally collapsed in 1991, but maybe the geographic world was better off when students could just sweep all that land under the formidable and largely unknown mass that was the U.S.S.R. and leave it at that. I mean, independence is cool and all, hooray for you, but why not just keep it simple for everyone here in the U.S. that’s just trying to get by with a decent enough grade to not have to work the late shift at McDonalds? Be cool, that’s all I’m saying.