jackassworld

“i have a department to run.”
—greg wolf, on why he was unable to attend rick kosick’s birthday lunch with everyone else in the office

“i didn’t even know he was doing the film until i read it on perez hilton.”
—dennis meyer, knoxville’s personal assistant, on his upcoming role in john waters’ fruitcake

“it’s not his dick. it’s a cartoon representation of his dick.”
—mike g., our production coordinator, on pricasso’s rendition of dave carnie’s penis

“i skate a lot with my shirt off, so working out has always been important to me.”
—ryan sheckler, as quoted in an interview with men’s fitness

“why are these kids doing this? they should be jerking off and drinking beer.”
—jesse hoy, of the deadly syndrome, while watching the dramas on life of ryan

“it truly was my pleasure to oblige.”
—spike jonze, in response to johnny knoxville’s black eye comments

“josh, could we get the tom of finland book back?”
—jeff tremaine to josh lingenfelter, about the big gay tom of finland art book

“by night. bitch during the day.”
—chris or crash richard, dickhouse production assistant, when mike g. called him a rock star

“my medication isn’t working. it’s causing me to have really shitty sundays.”
—earl parker

“i’m down lifetime.”
—dimitry elyashkevich, after shanna zablow congratulated him on his recent winnings in las vegas

“let’s go get a fuck machine and do all the things you can do with it.”
—jeff tremaine

“i’ve filmed a couple of those too.”
—johnny knoxville, when jeff tremaine said bam margera filmed a new direct-to-dvd special

“how’s that jackassworld website going, lawyers shut that down yet?”
—jimmy kimmel to johnny knoxville