jackassworld

http://www.cnbc.com/id/28051860

I heard about this this morning and giggled my ass off. But now it’s gone mainstream. Whoa!

Christmas approaches. That means you probably have to buy crap for other people. Throughout the month, I’ll be offering some easy, yet delightful, suggestions for the people in your life that you actually have to get gifts for. One of the easiest gifts I find to get for people is what I refer to as “toilet books.” These are usually small, silly books, that you leave around your toilet for your guests to read while they’re attending to their business. (more…)

There was a third BMTG that appeared in the pages of Big Brother, you can read it here. But after six years of Black Metal Thanksgiving I had failed to find any more interesting ways to write about the subject, so instead I created a book review aimed at people like Dave England who refused to give up their belief in Santa Claus (read “God”).

At the last BMTG, however, something interesting occurred. (more…)

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

I still haven’t even finished reading this very informative website. You’d think someone like me, who farts constantly, would know everything there is to know about farts. Apparently I do not. There is much to be learned on the subject. For instance, “Is it harmful to hold in farts? There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatus is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people’s health.  There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts. Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much. And Dr. P. said that the effort involved in retaining flatus can cause hemorrhoids.” Very interesting.

http://www.burpsandfarts.com/

I should be working for this site. I have been at this site for over a day now. And I’m not leaving. Good day, sir!

HAIL! One of the funniest things that occurs at every Black Metal Thanksgiving is that there is always a “friend of a friend” who attends. They aren’t exactly in our inner circle. Before attending, the whole Black Metal Thanksgiving thing must have sounded interesting and even kind of cute. In addition, a lot of “cool” Portland people go to it. Why not, right? But there’s always one stranger, and that person is always shocked by the blasphemies that we hurl at the heavens. (more…)

http://video.kenblockracing.com/flash/player/index.php?vendor_id=204&video_id=9183

Our friend Ken is the owner of DC shoes. Well, he was. He sold it for a lot of money. He still runs it. He just doesn’t own it. He owns the money. And with the money he decided to adopt one of the most expensive hobbies a person can have: race car driving. Him and Travis Pastrana love that drift car stuff. It is indeed pretty cool. And you can see why in this video of his “gymkhana” car. Here, I’ll let him explain, “I had a bit of fun in my Subaru STI “gymkhana” car recently (for two days) and we filmed it to make a fun little video clip. Like the title says…..I did some donuts around a moving Segway (images attached). Hope you enjoy the video….it was really fun to make. Here’s a quick story about it and a small interview on the 0-60 Magazine site: http://www.0-60mag.com/online/?p=5670”

After Derek watched, he wrote in an email, “What’s Earl doing on that Segway?” HAHA! Yeah, now that you mention it, that fellow does bear an uncanny resemblance to Earl. My response was, “He’s acting out a metaphor of his life: he wanders the streets with his head down, when the world suddenly pauses for a moment to do donuts around him before speeding off into the future, leaving him in his eternal past, covered in smoke. Art is his life, man.”

So Dave Carnie wrote a perfectly good post for this Willie Nelson Spring Water commercial we shot. Carnie actually wrote the piece, too, but since it was Willie Nelson and I am southern, I asked Carnie if I could write the post myself. (more…)

http://softrobot.brianbress.com/film/kdb/kdb.html

Our friend David Harris sent this over the other day. After I watched I replied, “I don’t get it.” Apparently Cliver didn’t get it either because his response was, “Good, neither did I.” But there are some big old dicks in this, so check it out.

There’s at least a couple people who bemoan the death of Big Brother. Apparently skateboarding needs “something like that.” It’s true, skateboarding can appear to be a bit too serious—a bit too cool, if you will—at times. Which is comical when you think about the skateboard industry as just a bunch of men riding around on a wooden toy. And they’re worried about their image? (more…)