

Call off the evolutionary watchdogs … the missing link between homo neanderthalensis and homo erectus has been found! The man (everything checked out under the hood) has since been classified as homo ungasmashus or “Canada Man” by scientists outstanding in a field, many of whom are fascinated by his keen ear for sound and remarkably dexterous abilities to wield a long, boom-like pole and twiddle with small mixing board knobs. When praised for these actions, Canada Man proudly stated, “Opposable thumbs work GOOD!” So on the heels of this momentous discovery for all mankind, I apologize for decrying a certain holiday the other day. Apparently the Canadians have good reason to celebrate Thanksgiving after all.
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Now for those with a trivial eye for chyrons and knowing who the fuck people are and what they do, you may have seen a mystery girl pop up in the pool during the recent “Panamania” episode of Nitro Circus. Her name was Estrella Verde (Green Star, what?) and she was described as being the “Miss Nitro Circus Runner-Up.” “Hold on now,” you say. “If she’s the runner-up then who the f’ is the real Miss Nitro Circus deal? And where exactly was this contest held in the first place?” Well, lucky for you, I was there, I know the answer to all these questions, and I have the photos to prove it … and more! (more…)