jackassworld

When we first entered this wacky entertainment business back in 2000, we learned that members of the cast are referred to as “talent” in Hollywood production terms. This always struck us as being rather funny, but I have to say that in the case of Brandon Dicamillo the expression truly does hold a full glass of water. (more…)

Once upon a time in America, the city of West Chester, PA, was a blissfully ignorant place. Bam Margera was not a household name, nor a frequent topic of discussion at the City Council board meetings. It was, as such, a haven for filming with a populace not yet savvy to the shocking, random, or just plain fucked-up scenarios that would soon beset them on a routine basis. This untainted “golden age” eventually came to an end in late 2000, probably not long after Bam and Brandon Dicamillo’s unorthodox hockey bout within the confines of a quaint corner cafe (the exact same locale of which would later be used in Bam’s first foray into film with Haggard). Incidentally, this post does conclude our unofficial two-day hockey theme. Canadians (and Canadanias) often get the short end of the North American stick, so I hope you’ve enjoyed this celebration of your country’s foremost contribution to the world. Next week’s half-ass theme will be about the male reproductive system and the gist of its jism.

I’m watching The Rocket right now. It’s the Maurice Richard story. It’s actually really good so far. I haven’t finished watching it because Tania came home last night before the movie was over. I had to turn it off. Watching a movie about hockey is like watching porn. She won’t stand for it. Although she was the one that Netflixed it for me. God bless her. (Can we make “Netflix” a verb?) Despite my hatred of the Montreal Canadians and my racism towards Quebecois, I found myself liking Maurice. I even got a little misty eyed at times. But I was laughing my ass off during the hockey fights in the movie. Great stuff. The best one is Maurice vs. some goon on the Rangers. The goon, coincidentally, was played by present NHL pest Sean Avery. The second coincidence being that Avery actually was a Ranger for awhile. So anyway Avery goes for Richard and every one is all scared that their star player, the fragile Richard, is going to get hurt. Instead, he decks Avery with one punch. (I can’t believe I was rooting for a Hab here.) Avery gets up and comes at him again. Again Richard decks him with one punch. His coach smiles. Richard tries to get into the penalty box figuring the fighting business is over, but Avery comes at him again and Richard proceeds to pummel him in the box. Yes there’s nothing like a hockey fight, even if it is staged.

All right, so it’s no real secret that on the first season of jackass we’d pilfered a number of random moments and quickies—soon to be dubbed “transitions”—from Bam Margera’s first two CKY videos. Most of these were used as padding to fill the spaces between segments, or provide a quick “what, huh?” breather after a particularly long or thought-provoking piece. However, most of these never made it onto the later jackass DVD releases, hence the appearance of them here and now under the alluring title of “jackass not on DVD,” which may, in the near future, need to be changed to something else. I’ll let you fill in the marketing blanks from there, but goddamn, don’t you just admire Ryan Dunn’s style when it comes to taking a second story drop? Flawless.

When it comes to celebrating goofy days of the week or showing some kind of team spirit, count me the fuck out. Yes, that’s right, I’m one of those noncompliant jerks that purposely goes out of his way not to wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, even though I have a wee bit o’ the Irish going on with my first name (but not in my liver). Most of this stems from my formative days in school, I suspect, back when they had those designated days where everyone wore a certain color or costume for god knows what assimilatory reason. What’d they call them, pep rallies? Sorry, reindeer games are gay. Anyway, I may be a real stick in the mudchute when it comes to this stuff, but that’s no reason the site can’t play along with the theme de jour. So here you go, talk like a pirate on September 19th. Argh. Matey. Ahoy. Blow me down. Pass me the pegboy. Grrrr…

Here’s another semi-lost jackass moment from the heavily abused shores of “Camp Pain” just outside of Orlando, FL, starring Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, and Brandon Dicamillo. It’s a historically simple prank, although far less jarring in its modern day Looney Tunes usage versus the particularly hateful mob scene in the HBO John Adams mini-series. The tarring aspect here was pretty half-ass, all things considered, so the concept was later revisited during the great “Rube Goldberg” debacle from jackass the movie (on the very same person in the very same place, incidentally). Anyone remember that bit of “added value” from the jackass the movie DVD? This featurette could have easily been expanded into a feature-length documentary entitled “Three Days in Hell: The Rube Goldberg Story,” one that surely would have rivaled Coppola’s Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse in its scope of cinematic madness.

Here I was, all set to flick Steve-O’s “Unicycle Poo Barf” back into viewable circulation, when Greg Wolf walked into my office this morning and said there was a music issue with it. Never mind the fact it was only Roger Alan Wade’s “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb,” we still have to do things by the licensing books and we certainly don’t want to shaft Roger out of any potential revenue. So, back into shackles it went, hopefully to be liberated on another day when Steve-O’s marathon of puke can retch once more in all its unfettered glory. In the meantime, here’s Brandon Dicamillo and Bam Margera in the “Poo Dollar.” This isn’t necessarily the most original prank, but the two newscasters certainly upped the confrontational ante and there is a prime example of how to effectively diffuse a situation through absurdity and confusion, as opposed to boring old fisticuffs.

(photo by Sean Cliver; West Chester, PA; 2000)