jackassworld

Believe it or not, there’s something bigger than Wolfie in the world. That’s right, “Awoooo” all you damn want, but unless you’ve got a small nation behind you in this chorus then it’s probably best not to bother. Behold, the Enterweb Legend of the Three Wolves:

http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Mens-Three-Short-Sleeve

“i’m not really gay … i’m more of a jack-off in front of the mirror guy.”
—chris pontius

“would anyone mind if i stabbed kosick?”
—johnny knoxville, while holding a fork at dinner with the crew following the one bourbon shoot with mike judge (three days later he stabbed sean cliver instead)

“his eyes pour forth light from heaven.”
—lauren graham, describing her jared leto sighting in hollywood

“if you drown with a life vest on you are a loser.”
—rick kosick, talking to wolfie about learning to swim

“don’t thank me, thank kfc.”
—preston lacy, on his being great boat ballast for wakesurfing

“i didn’t even know he did it i’m so blown out down there.”
—johnny knoxville, after returning from a routine urethra check-up at the doctor’s office

“we all have our addictions. some of us buy crack. others buy obscure k-tel records from the ’70s.”
—mike g., defending wolfie’s … elclectic? … music collection

“if i do this all day will you guys do my work for me?”
—shanna, while trying her hands at the shake weight™

“your grandmother is a fucking whore. because you know who makes stuff with velvet? whores.”
—jeff tremaine, complimenting one of the nitro circus editors on his velvet jacket

Five episodes deep into the second season, Rob Dyrdek and the Fantasy Factory cast and crew take a bonus break to toast highlights from previous shows, go behind-the-scenes to break the fourth wall, blow some bloopers, sneak some peeks, and illuminate the lesser to never seen facets and faces of the Factory. It’s magicak.

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What do you get when you mix one part Nitro Circus with one part Keystone State? The answer: Pennsylpainia. And lots of it. From a two-day shuttle-launching and pool-partying siege at Bam Margera’s rural estate to an extraordinary week of summer camp thrills and spills at Woodward, the cast of Nitro Circus proves that the Quakers and Amish aren’t the only in-country cliques to have it going on. Guest-starring Chad Kagy, Brandon Novak, Jacaso, Cowboy Kenny Bartram, and some pro Razor Scooterers.

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Michael Jackson the man is gone, but Michael Jackson the legacy will have everlasting effects upon our culture—at least up until 2012 because it’s the Mayans then, baby, the fucking Mayans! Anyway, Grammy award-winning singer/songwriter John Mayer and Rob Dyrdek stage a paparazzi prank that results in “Local Celebrity Almost Dies!” headlines over 2000 miles away in Dayton, Ohio. Mama Dyrdek, upset over her son’s spectacle, promptly schools the two in the concept of “good fame” and “bad fame” over speakerphone, evoking nervous perspiration from John’s armpits. To make it up, John and Rob commit to making trashy amends by recording a heartfelt apology track entitled “Rob’s Mom” and revisiting the scene of the crime in style—with cougars. In a simultaneous transitional act of redemption, Rob’s friend Marky Mark conquers his slam-induced fear of dropping in on a quarter-pipe.

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like to see what any of the Nitro Circus cast see when they’re in the midst of a successful stunt or flailing yard sale? Now you can over on MTV.com, where they’ve posted an array of exclusive helmet cam shots from the recent “Go Big or Go Foam” episode, starring the POVs of Special Greg and his cameraman mishap, Erik Roner’s heroic base jump at Magic Mountain, Andy Bell’s tricycle dirt jump cartwheels, and Travis Pastrana’s bird’s eye view of the monster Red Bull ramp/billboard.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/435592/special-gregs-camera-crash.jhtml#id=1621128

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In this third charming episode, “Trust Your Pilot, Respect Your Monkey,” Rob Dyrdek reunites with past business partner DJ Greyboy in the revival of ’70s sidehack BMX bikes. Meanwhile, in mandatory sub-plot storyopolis, Interweb sensation and motivational speaker Joel Bauer is invited to come down to the Fantasy Factory, where he vastly improves Rob’s business card with a miniature erection and whips the facilitating Big Cat into professional shape … sort of. Guest starring BMX superstar Dave Mirra.

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You know how they say everything is big in Texas? Well, if they mean big, boring stretches of highway then they certainly got that right. But big isn’t always better, you know, except when it comes to Nitro Circus. In this bigged-up episode the cast gets launched 100-flying-feet into the air as human cannonballs; leaps off a super theme park ride at Six Flags Magic Mountain; goes biplane underwear wing-walking with no chutes, no harnesses, and no second chances; and Street Bike Tommy lets gravity do all the hard work as he takes the proverbial long walk off a short pier to fall 50-feet into a monster foam pit of near-death. Guest starring BMX legend Mat Hoffman and California Angels pitcher Ervin Santana.

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http://chicagounderground.bside.com/2009/films/thewildandwonderfulwhitesofwestvirginia

This Saturday, September 12th, The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia is pulling up to the Chicago Underground Film Fest for its grand Midwest premiere. Click the link for showtimes and all that other info that would be redundant to post here and render the whole “link of the day” point null and void. So get off yer damn ass and get ‘er done, y’heard? (more…)

This Thursday, September 10th, Sean Cliver will be having a somewhat better late than never book launch party for The Disposable Skateboard Bible at the HUF store in Los Angeles, CA, from 7:00-10:00pm. There will be free drinks (courtesy of Effen Vodka), as well as hors’ douevers (courtesy of Madeleine Bistro, the best vegan restaurant in all of Southern California if not the whole damn state). Books will be available for purchase, upon which time Cliver would be more than happy to scribble his name somewhere therein. Inside sources close to the author say it’s probably a good idea to get there early if you’d like to have the autograph somewhat legible, what with his light-weight alcohol tolerance and penchant for Cape Cods.

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