jackassworld

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All that bayou talk this weekend reminded me of the little peckins that Marc McKee and I first met via the informal “skater chatline” we used to host at World Industries, circa 1992. This was years before “chat rooms” became the predatory norm on the Interweb, and it was something that Marc and I used to run over the company phone system. World Industries had this 1-800 number then, so kids would call up all hours of the day. And since Marc and I worked all hours of the day, but mostly at night long after everyone else had gone home to their lives, we would answer the phone and hook the kiddies up conference-style on speaker phone. We could do up to three callers at a time, and whenever one sucked or got on our nerves we would simply hang up on them and patched in some other “lucky” caller.

We mostly did this to amuse ourselves while working on miscellaneous skateboard graphics, and one of our favorite mainstays of the chatline was this kid named Joey Boy from Lindale, Texas—a town approximately the size on one regulation city block that he lived on the outskirts of with his “bald-ass bitch” granny and his little brother John. Like any good town buried deep in the sticks of America, Joey Boy was constantly feuding with this other kid in Lindale named John Blaylock. Man, that was some free, quality late-night entertainment whenever those two started going at each other on the chatline. Well … it wasn’t entirely free. A month after the chatline started, World Industries received its 1-800 bill in a box. That’s right, a damn box . It was about three-inches thick and totaled almost $1,000.00. Whoops!

We never got in trouble (although there was that odd police inquiry from Kentucky), but I still contend it was an investment in the future of Big Brother because a year later in ‘93 we struck gold with this heated phone conversation between Joey Boy and John and James Blaylock. The audio version of this transcription was included on the special cassette tape that came free with every issue of Big Brother #8, the musical accompaniment to which was “Dueling Banjos” from Deliverance (1972). So in lieu of that audio here, please whistle like a banjo-pickin’ waterhead while reading the above. Suck a dick, bitch!

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