jackassworld

Now I’ve said it before but I should probably say it again: The “gooch,” a rather tender area of the body located between the scrotum and anus (also referred to as the “taint” depending upon your regional slang), is not to be confused with Guch, an all-purpose production commando that first joined the jackass crew in late 2000. Guch, however, is not to be confused with the weak-tickered medical group known as Grown-Ups with Congenital Heart defects, but may be confused with an Eskimo because that’s exactly what he looks like—especially if you dress him up in a seal-skin parka, slap a primitive handmade spear in his hand, and stand him next to the carcass of a dead walrus. Now that we’re perfectly clear on which gooch we’re dealing with here, let’s address the photographic matter at hand. It’s a moment that transpired early on in the production of jackass the movie (again in Dave England’s former home in Portland, but not the one shown in the “Nutball” essay from the other day), when Johnny Knoxville came up with the idea to apply some electric muscle stimulators to that particular region. He, however, was not going to be the test dummy himself, and you can somewhat see that reflected in Dave’s expression, whereas Danger Ehren looks to be more relieved, albeit a tad beleaguered, after already undergoing his breast experiment. That’s why, folks, sometimes it’s always best to jump on the first grenade offered to you, because chances are the situation is only going to go downhill from that point forth. Just another life lesson from your friends at jackassworld.

Bonus sentence! This one thought occurred to me while looking at this photo, but I just couldn’t find a place to place it in the pee stream of consciousness above: “Get your missionary engines started!” Make of that what you will. Or don’t. Freedom of choice.

(photo by Sean Cliver; Portland, OR; 2002)