jackassworld

Okay, so now that you’ve seen all the jackass action figures, please meet the creative little bastard whose clay-twiddling fingers made ‘em: Nathaniel Merritt. I’d like to say he has a keen eye for detail, but his story about driving six-hours to meet April Margera leads me to believe otherwise. Read on…

Who are you, how old are you, and where are you from?

I’m just an average 19-year-old schmuck from Spencerport, NY, who idolizes Mr. Jack Nicholson.

How did you first find out about jackassworld?

Shia LaBeouf and I were dining at a fancy little place in Greenwich Village. When the conversation died down and things got a little awkward between us we started to doodle on napkins. I doodled a picture of “Jackass and the Beanstalk”. Shia and I thought it was pretty funny, so I decided to make it into a book (currently available at Barnes & Noble bookstores). I dedicated all my time into it, even dropped out of college! While doing all my research for the book, I stumbled upon jackassworld. Now JAW was a major help for me because now I could post all my junk up. Before I found JAW, I had traveled down to Wayne, PA. I’d read on Mrs. April Margera’s website that she was signing her cookbook April Cooks at a restaurant by the name of Georges. So I traveled six hours down to give her my book and a shirt I’d made. Here’s the comical side of story: I finally arrived, decked out in an April Cooks shirt, looking beat from the ride with my present. As I entered, I asked a young waitress if April Margera was here yet. The waitress looked completely confused. She calls a manager and, well, it turns out that I’m a year late! Mrs. April Margera was at Georges on Sept. 11, 2008, NOT Sept. 11, 2009!

What inspired you to create figures of the jackass cast and crew?

Well, in all honesty I was and still am hoping to get a job that is in any way affiliated with jackass. Whether it is a cartoonist, shirt designer, or even simply just a guy who cleans up Dave England’s fecal matter. I hoped to catch the jackass god’s eye … even if it meant molding lumps of clay into them.

Describe the process in making the figures.

The process was long, I must say. It starts out with a trip to AC Moore to buy clay (always with a 40-percent off coupon!). After that I gathered up photos of all the cast and crew, for everyone is so distinct in their own charming ways. Then, any free time I had was used to make these action figures. After I got out of work, which is at a movie theater, I’d come home late to a dim lit room with the soft, soothing voices of Dorothy, Rose, Blanch, and Sophia from The Golden Girls. Oh, how I’ve grown to love that show. Other times I’d sneak up to the break room at work and get a head start on molding them. I’d always listen intently for a door to open just in case a manager came barging through.

How long did it take to make each one?

As you all probably know, I have a vast amount of time on my hands.

Which figure proved the most difficult to make?

Hmmm… I’d have to say the Spike Jonze action figure. I had to throw him out, that’s why there’s no Spike Jonze action figure. Extremely difficult he was. Otherwise I’d have to say Mr. Rick Kosick. I was up very late and the paint wouldn’t dry correctly. It was very frustrating, but I don’t hold anything against Mr. Kosick … just the Rick Kosick toy.

Did you find yourself inexplicably annoyed while making Danger Ehren?

Actually, he was fairly enjoyable to make. When I was making him, my brother asked me if I was making Sweeney Todd. That comment almost made me mail Danger Ehren to Mr. Johnny Depp. Then I remembered I wasn’t a huge fan of the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Gene Wilder forever!

Talk about Chris Pontius’s package. In hindsight, do you think it could have been a tad bigger or were you consciously crafting these for an “all ages” market?

No way! These toys are definitely age-restricted. Not because of the nudity or Mr. Pontius’s “stern but fair” package, but rather because of the Don Vito action figure alone! The Don Vito toy weighs a solid 20–30-pounds. Imagine a CNN headline story about a 5-year-old child being crushed to death by a Don Vito toy that had fallen on him!

Do you really think Tremaine’s a jerk or does a part of you want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he just doesn’t know how to use Facebook?

I don’t think Mr. Tremaine is a jerk, not at all. He wrote on my good friend Ronald Ferrara’s bum during the jackassworld 24-hour takeover, where Ron participated in the half-naked run through Times Square with Mr. Pontius (check Ronny out in the video, he’s one of the fellas in the music store, I believe). Ron actually has Mr. Pontius’s sweaty jumpsuit, unwashed. So if you’re looking for it, Mr. Pontius, contact me and I’ll give you Ron’s address for you to pay the bastard a visit.

Back to the Facebook thing … I don’t take anything on Facebook personally. I follow the saying by the great Mr. Keanu Reeves: “Facebook is no reason to dislike another human being” … ?

Do you think the fact that he didn’t accept your friend request led to a subconscious similarity between his figure and Preston Lacy’s?

No, I wouldn’t say that. Again, I have nothing but the greatest respect for Mr. Tremaine. If anything I based his figure after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figure of Bebop.

meet more jackassworld community members:

read more of ‘who the hell are you?’

join the jackassworld community:

it hurts to be a part of the family