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Way before Wildboyz came trotting along we were all up on the Animal Planet tip with jackass and it was only fifteen or so shoots before Johnny Knoxville requested to be on the receiving end of nature’s foremost perfume counter: the skunk. However, little did we then know how damn hard it was (and actually still is) to find a “loaded” skunk. (In case you’re not down with pest control jargon “loaded” means the skunk is as wild as they come with anal stink glands very much intact and working; captive, pet, or “animal actor” skunks will all have these removed.) Luckily we eventually stumbled upon a cooperative woman on the Enterweb that operated her own “pest control” business specifically geared toward the humane removal and relocation of skunks. She was the Skunk Lady, and we politely requested that she call us up the next time she had a trapped skunk on her hands to let Knoxville come and do the honors on releasing it back into the wild.

Knoxville of course went on to successfully provoke the skunk into spraying him with its potent little self-defense mechanism several times over, which in turn led to some aromatic aftermath with the crew. But what less than obvious descriptive words I am trying to get to is that post-skunk episode Knoxville once again stripped down before the crew (this time to bathe himself in tomato sauce), prompting the following treatment: “The Jackass X Orgy.”

The scene opens on a production screening room. Everyone is gathered around a dub rack viewing yet another tape of footage in which Johnny Knoxville exposes his wiener during a shoot. At first everyone makes idle jokes regarding the matter, but then Greg Wolf, of all people, breaks out a small plastic vial containing 25 tabs of X, that goofy raver love drug. Without a second thought, everyone grabs a couple and begins popping them like Skittles. Before long, Chris Pontius jumps up on a table and strips down to an animal print thong. Everyone lustily cheers him on. Jeff Tremaine grabs a spare jock strap (we’ve got these lying all over the office) and joins Chris in the rousing—make that arousing—table dance. Dollar bills are now flying throughout the room. Discarded clothing items soon follow in similar flight patterns. A buck-naked Rick Kosick makes a mad dash for the stun collar and giddily straps it about his neck, demanding that Trip Taylor repeatedly shock him while Knoxville flick his nipples. Just before it gets really out of hand and we’re not able to air the segment on TV (e.g. the gooey aftermath of the “Playgirl™ Pontius” shoot), the camera crew retreats behind the safety of a closed door to giggle as strange semi-erotic sounds—some strikingly barnyard in nature—emanate from the room.

This was in fact submitted to MTV as a proposed idea to film for the show (actually, we said this had already been filmed), but I don’t believe they took it very seriously. I rather wish they had, because I’m sure the safety notes would’ve been a hoot.

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