jackassworld

Uh, yeah. So we had a slight problem with Lauren Graham’s post earlier and it has since been removed and placed somewhere in the cornfield. Yes, that cornfield. Some of you are well familiar with it thanks to the past handiwork of Michelle and The Wolf Den, others possibly via Rod Serling, but that may only be a reference enjoyed by the likes of Laura Z, Wolfie, Joyx2, and myself. Anyway, what does remain is a frame grab from what I believe was professional skateboarder Mike Carroll’s entry in the Great Chris Casey Pumpkin-Carving Contest, which shall now in any future usages be referred to as the “GCCPCC” for brevity’s sake. The GCCPCC was held last weekend here in Chris Casey’s Hollywood backyard and was attended by the likes of Lauren, Dimitry, and other people of a marginally demented sort.

(more…)

And so it begins: All Hallow’s Eve. Did you know that the “American Werewolf (in London)” was actually filmed while the guys were over in England? It’s true. I would shit you not, nor shit on you for that matter. I may have a few strands of German heritage wound up in my DNA, but that doesn’t genetically mean that spielen mit scheisse is my cup of tea. Ah, tea time! Which must mean we’ve textually circled back to merry olde England after just a quick potty stop in Germany. Jolly good, guv’nor, just ignore me cockney and run along now. Incidentally, what I most appreciated about this silly footage of Chris Pontius* racing about barking mad in the streets of London as a rubber-headed werewolf is that someone on the crew—no matter how many pints of pils they may have been pissed on at the time—still had the presence of mind to carry out the mythic tale to its morning completion. Cheers! And Happy Halloween, ye wee masked bastards (except for Big Country, who has since proven he’s not wee in the least).

(more…)

Now we’re talking. Scandinavian corpse paint in your face! Another fine last minute costume idea should you be drawing a blank at two minutes to midnight. Trust me, you wouldn’t be the first Hank von Helvete to do so on Halloween, but if you already have your costume picked out, then shit, stick around for a history lesson if you’d like. It’s not about some dusty old wigheads prancing about France at the turn of the 17th century, so it’s not completely boring. Useless, perhaps, but then so is calculus to about 96 percent of mankind. Good? Okay. Our first encounter with Turbonegro came in 1995, I think, when Marc McKee reviewed the band’s 8 x 10 black-and-white publicity photo. Normally it’s not a good thing to be reviewed in the pages of Big Brother, especially back then, but Turbonegro received high marks all around on their 8 x 10, which featured Hank lounging shirtless and solo on a couch, proving that the band must not suck (based on the tried and true “Suck at a Glance™” methodology of review). (more…)

Seven years after that fateful first interview with Glenn Danzig, we revisited the interview scenario with him, albeit with a few more hard-hitting and insightful questions in hand. Consequently, this one was a bit more in goosestep with the traditional Big Brother music journalism credo. Dave Carnie handled the physical interview for the most part, but Jordan the Intern* accompanied him only to be physically manhandled by Danzig afterward (see the subsequent sub ad below). Jordan did several other music interviews while interning for Big Brother, but what sucked for Jordan is that he genuinely enjoyed several of the bands. I only say this because in exchange for hooking up these interviews and getting promo CDs and free passes to the shows (the only real reason to be a music journalist: free shit) he had to ask the bands all sorts of silly and/or shitty questions that we happily supplied him with. One such memorable interview was with The Beta Band, and it ended in an exceptionally poor (great!) manner. Anyway, that’s just fodder for the week to come. In the meantime, click the fuckin’ image above for a more suitable fuckin’ reading size.

(more…)

On the eve of the world’s most mischievous holiday, the jerks at jackassworld would like to remind you to have a safe and happy Halloween this year by observing a few simple rules:

1. Stay on the sidewalks, or out of the road. Bring a flashlight or other lighting device. Lighting on some streets can be poor. Come to think of it, avoid poor streets in general. Trick-or-treating on skid row is a very unprofitable venture and may in fact have a negative impact on your bounty.

2. All candy and food should be inspected before eating. There is probably a very good reason Danzig once crooned about candy apples and razor blades and why he remembers Halloween.

3. Wear masks that don’t limit eyesight, and avoid costumes that hinder your ability to easily pee or poo should the awkward moment arise, e.g. Donna Martin’s mermaid costume.

4. Never trust anyone offering to help you with any facet of your costume, especially if it involves the application of hair. Remember: Just like the owls in Twin Peaks, your friends are not what they seem.

5. Lastly, should you live in Hollywood, the use of Silly String™, a/k/a Irrational Fits of Uncontrollable Rage String™, is strictly prohibited. For obvious reasons, really, considering that an army of darkness plastered in this berserker substance [witness Exhibit A] would be nothing short of un-fucking-stoppable.

(more…)

I’m not so sure this video is entirely of All Hallow’s Eve stock, but it certainly does have all the necessary creepy elements going for it, including the patented Wildboyz spooky voice. But seeing such hellish landscapes such as these certainly makes it understandable why Peter Jackson chose to shoot The Lord of the Rings trilogy in New Zealand. It’s not like he really had to go out of his way to digitally create the wasteland of Mordor, which I’m sure was pretty cool for him considering every other last goddamn thing in the movies had to be artificially rendered, enhanced, or, in some Hobbit-like instances, reduced. Anyway, at least he did a bang-up job of it. The Balrog still trumps any goofy-ass, paint-by-pixel beast since it first went “flame on” in 2001*. Even if it did go out like a little bitch. (more…)

I have titled this post in loving memory to jackass 2.5, which basically consisted of leftovers from jackass number two, because this too is a leftover of sorts from the Danzig interview in Big Brother skateboard magazine issue #5 (1993) that was posted online yesterday. For what it is redundantly worth, this was one of 36 different “trading cards” that were packaged in sets of 12 and included as a “premium” with each copy of the magazine (you can see another for Jesus H. Christ here with a lot more of the back story behind their creation). (more…)

I have a clamshell T-shirt press in my house and I love to make clothes with it. I print up images on this special paper off my printer and then iron it on the shirts. Here is an outfit I made for Jeff and Laura’s precious new addition. Supposedly Jeff has a picture of Kosick holding her while she’s wearing it, but I have yet to see it. Anyway, I made a matching outfit for my little one which gets here in December. I figure when teaching kids the golden rule, you might as well start ‘em young.

Sincerely,

Knoxville

(photo by Johnny Knoxville; Los Angeles, CA; 2009)

In the festive quest to decorate the home page marquee with yet another quasi-Halloween segment, here’s Dave England hanging around as a winsome creature of the night. Shot in both Los Angeles, California, and Portland, Oregon, “The Bat” combines thrills, chills, and even the prerequisite downhill spill. In the event that you miss the dearly departed track by Roky Erickson that once accompanied this bit in its televised usage, I suggest renting the documentary You’re Gonna Miss Me (2005), and adding a few of Roky’s more eerie songs to your iPod for the upcoming weekend, primarily: “Night of the Vampire”, “Bloody Hammer”, “I Walked With a Zombie”, and “The Creature With the Atom Brain”. Better yet, if you’re geographically fortunate check Roky out in person this weekend: Friday, October 30, he’s performing at the Majestic Theatre in Detroit, MI, then on Saturday, October 31, he’ll be at the Bottom Lounge in Chicago, IL. For more tour dates and information: http://www.rokyerickson.net/

(more…)

So yesterday’s cliffhanger with Danzig left you wondering about an interview that was conducted by myself and Marc McKee with the legendary creator and frontman of the original Misfits line-up circa 1977-1983. But by the time we’d gotten around to interviewing him in 1993, we were given a stern warning by the publicist at American Records to not ask anything about the Misfits because “Danzig won’t talk about them.” Incidentally, in the preamble* to this interview it is pointed out that this was “the best Danzig interview in history**” and that we’d kept our words to a minimum to allow the maximum amount of space for Danzig’s hallowed words. Well, the real reason we’d kept our words to a minimum is that both Marc and I were so nervous during the interview that it was super awkward, we sounded like fuckwits, and I think Danzig might have even made fun of us at one point***. Just remember that the next time you’re reading some rock interview in Spin (is that rag even still around?) or Rolling Stone and the writer sounds all suave and hot shit. Chances are he’s lying, because that’s just what journalists do to save face. Oh yeah, to suitably read this interview with Danzig, in which he touches upon fuckin’ Satanism, fuckin’ sasquatches, fuckin’ skateboards, fuckin’ steroids, and fuckin’ more, just click on the image to see it all fuckin’ bigged up.

(more…)