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…they all are! They’re all winners! No, just kidding. Special though we may be at times, this is not that kind of event. Because life is made up of winners and losers, and to win or to lose is what ultimately shapes us into the competitive human race that we are today. And, true to life, we’re not here to celebrate the losers—just the winners! So here they are:

The Best of The Purple Pony Chronicles: Steve-O and Chris Pontius

The Best Overuse of a Prop: Stun Gun Brass Knuckles

The Best of One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer: Mat Hoffman

The Best Slam: Johnny Knoxville in Mat Hoffman’s Tribute to Evel Knievel

The Best of My Awesome Crap: Johnny Knoxville

The Best Arty-Farty Video: Rick Kosick

The Best of The Preston Lacy Show: Johnny Knoxville and his catheter

The Best of Jackassworld Live: Steve-O and Wee-Man

The Best of Eddie Barbanell: Eddie & Me – Pimp Suits

The Best of Wolfie: Wolferine

The Best Vomit: Dave England, while preparing the original “Vomelet”

The Best Shirt Design in the Jackassworld Store: Skull and Crutches

The Best of the Jackassworld Road Trip: The Steve-O Sing-A-Long

The Best Nut Shot: Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O

The Get With the Program Award: Dave Carnie vs. Johnny Knoxville

The Best Office Prank: Jeff Tremaine’s Surprise Birthday Present

The Best of Knoxville’s International Greetings: Australia

The Best Jackassworld Community Moment: The Save Jackassworld Campaign of 2008

Once again, thanks to all who voted in the 2009 jackassworld awards. If for some reason you later believe you may have contracted Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in the process of clicking your merry way through our online ballot form, don’t blame us. Blame the fucker who designed the clicky thing on the mouse or laptop track pad. Seriously, when that Class Action lawsuit comes down the pike, he’s the guy whose fortunes you’ll want to steal—not ours. USA #1!

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