jackassworld

So it’s come to this: the third and final pre-roll peep at the categories and nominees that make up the genetic monster now known as the 2009 jackassworld awards. And, just like I’d promised, I shall now provide you with a direct link to the deluxe voting ballot to let your fingers do the clicking:

http://www.jackassworld.com/awards

You can rock the vote, shit on it, fuck it, I don’t care—just vote soon like the future of generations to come depends on it. I mean, where would we be without the Academy Awards in our life? Or the Emmy Awards, Golden Globes, SAG Awards, ESPYs, Teen Choice Awards, Grammy Awards, VMAs, MTV Movie Awards, Independent Spirit Awards … jesus god. No wonder our world is as fucked as it is. If we paid half the attention to matters that matter instead of blowing golden smoke up celebrity asses we’d definitely be wearing sleek silver space suits and bopping about town in our teleportation pods right now. C’mon, people, it’s 2009 for chrissakes! Screw global warming and all this “HOPE” nonsense. Let’s make this the new world mantra: TELEPORT NOW.

Oh yeah, just in case you can’t recall something on the ballot, simply click on the red text. From there you will be hyper-linked through space and time to view the full clip as it exists in the archive. It’s not exactly teleportation but it’s the best we have to play with for now.