jackassworld

Last Friday I managed to weasel my way into the San Diego Comic-Con via a book signing appearance courtesy of the nice folks at Super7. This was a minor miracle, considering I’d only gotten the wild hair up my ass to do such a thing a week before its opening day on July 23rd and pretty much any type of admission pass had sold out like four months ago. But, in all honesty, the book signing was really just an excuse to go down and witness the spectacle.

The last time I’d been to the comic-con was in the mid-’90s, back when it was a much smaller affair and the aisles were still primarily lined with comic book publishers and dealers hawking their over-priced back issues with an iron fist (eBay has since sucked a lot of the wind out of their sales). Then, in the early 2000s, the video game industry started to infiltrate the convention floor. Interest and attendance boomed and Hollywood took note. Today, the San Diego Comic-Con is the premiere place for big-time television networks and movie studios to launch new projects and preview upcoming releases, and it has since become nothing short of one big Mardi Gras celebration for the OCD pop-culture sect—much to the delight of news organizations everywhere, I might add.

Johnny Fakesville

To make fun or light of anyone or anything associated with the comic-con would be like shooting ducks in a barrel (although even I have to say that all the little misfits walking around with signs reading “free hugs” was a bit depressing), and while edging my way through the ridiculously crowded and heavily costumed convention hall I couldn’t help but recall this one line from Fight Club: “We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do no fuck with us.” And the same can somewhat be said for these people that save up all yearlong for their one big weekend out of the closet in San Diego. These are the people who drive ticket sales. These are the people who make merchandising contracts so important to negotiate up front. These are the people that enable truly bad scripts to become the blockbuster cash cow films of Hollywood. Viva la Western Civilization!

(top photo by Sean Cliver; middle photo by Shari Mac Donald; bottom photo by Lance Bangs; San Diego, CA; 2009)