jackassworld

My assistant Dennis Meyer just turned 27 last week, so I had a beautiful birthday cake designed especially for him. Unfortunately the one I designed with rainbows and roses was replaced by a filthier design by Tim Campbell. I vehemently protested the content and tone of Tim’s pornographic imagery, but I was angrily rebuffed by Mr. Campbell. “Tim, does everything you do have to be juvenile and dirty?” I said. “Twenty-seven is a very tough year for cryin’ out loud! Kurt Cobain, Brian Jones, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and many others never made it out of the year alive, and why must you start out my compatriot’s 27th year with such bile and negativity?!” I bellowed. “Blow it out your ass, Knoxville, the cake has already been ordered,” was all he replied. Blow-it-out-your-ass. Wow, some people have no sensitivity.

Anyway, Dennis, I apologize for the coarse cake Tim designed and I hope your 27th year is a great one and 365 days long if you know what I mean.

Love,

Knoxville