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When I told Knoxville I was driving an RV with five of my friends to the SXSW music festival, he suggested that we hang out with some of his friends while we were in Austin to get a real Texas experience. Man, I bet he regrets that now. Just kidding. Well, maybe not. No, but seriously, how cool was that? Not to mention he and Derek hooking us up with gas money to make it there. Thanks, guys. You’re the best.

So one of his friends, Hawk (yes, his name is Hawk, how bad-ass is that?), said he’d take us to a shooting range. Sounds perfect, right? Girls, guns, Texas, short shorts … except for the fact that as you may have noticed there isn’t a lot of female content here on jackassworld (except for all the wonderful things with Shanna). But we aren’t even gonna front like we’re in the same league as that. So Knoxville stepped up, like a true producer, and made some fast business moves. This email I got from him (below) proves why us “regular folk” should just leave some things to true professionals. No further description required.

—LG

P.S. The first song in the edit is courtesy of US Royalty. They are definitely our favorite boys from SXSW. Please check them out: www.usroyaltymusic.com.

Okay, this is a pretty dumb email but shoot ‘things’ like this. Bright colors are good and make sure they are big enough to see them from a distance. Bright, big, and cheap for the dildos. Get eight or so dildos and  some big containers of boy butter. Boy butter is never unfunny.

Also, Derek recommended you get a fake male bottom (a fake ass) to shoot. I think you know what the bull’s eye would be on that. Also please make sure it’s a man’s bottom and not a girl’s because that would be weird. We are already toeing that line anyway. Okay then, use the Dickhouse card for this nonsense and please be careful for crying out loud. Also call Mark Zupan and let him know about the shooting range. I think he wants to go to that with you. If you need anything call Derek or me. Jesus Christ.

—Knoxville

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