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Loomis is an anomaly. While other people fret, fritter, and wile away the day worrying about their dietary intake and strategies, Loomis has maintained a more or less consistent diet of Pop Tarts and Captain Morgan (excepting that time in Ireland when he switched to fish and red wine). You would think this unorthodox form of sustenance would surely affect him in some manner, right? But the thing is, no, he looks exactly the same as he did when I first met him twelve years ago (aside from minor wardrobe changes). So on one hand it leads you to believe that preservatives really are a good thing. On the other it totally debunks that whole nutritional pyramid scheme. (No surprise there … I’ve always suspected it was a sham to begin with, one most likely designed, propagated, and financially bolstered by undisclosed special interests groups and the Illuminati, hence its striking similarity to the secret society’s chief icon.) Stupid food chart.

Anyway, here’s Loomis stepping out into foreign territory—the kitchen—to learn a cooking thing or two from the master herself, April Margera.

To buy a copy of April’s cookbook April Cooks: There’s An Alligator In My Kitchen, shake and bake your Interweb ass over here: April Cooks.

more loomis fall:

watch: loomis videos on jackassworld

more april margera:

watch: april videos on jackassworld