jackassworld

“kinda pale, a little chubby … but that’s cool. that’s my style.”
—wee-man, describing himself

“i’m afraid stuff will fall off if i hug him too hard.”
—johnny knoxville, while gingerly embracing mat hoffman in a male greeting

“i should have known something was up when i picked up rick and he was really, really nice to me.”
—wolfie, on the office prank we pulled on him

“ever since we got some valuable equipment out here we’ve decided to step it up.”
—dimitry elyashkevich, while hitting plastic footballs with a baseball bat at wolfie’s relocated office equipment

“i like attention and i know how to get it.”
—marf, the amazing dickhouse seal boy, on his clapping like a giddy girl during the football sabotage

“i’m getting shit on by three guys at once!”
—rick kosick, testing the top secret jackassworld pranks application

“you guys broke the light again? jesus fucking christ…”
—mike g., prior to cleaning up the office again

“no more shitbombs, guys!”
—gio, our accountant

“a lot less expensive than dildos.”
—jxpx blackmon, while fishing for dimes to get a tampon out of the girls room for a skit with wolfie

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