jackassworld

The first time I noticed the name Tam O’Clannie rear up in the community, I thought it was some portly lass from the bonny green hill’s o’ Ireland. Several months later, though, I was surprised to learn that Tam was actually a man—and a Canadian one at that. A chronic commenter on posts (something always appreciated here at jackassworld), Tam’s soul was eventually chosen at random to be sacrificed to the nefarious Devil Cock chair in a live half-ass ritual during the early days of the office web cam. So it’s only right and natural that damned Tam get his day in the sun now before he spends the rest of eternity burning his tootsies off beneath the smoldering gaze of His Upholstered Majesty, a/k/a “H.U.M.”

Who the hell are you, how old are you, and where are you from?

My name is Cody Bottas (pronounced “Boat-Us,” or if you like, “Boat-Ass”), I’m 24-years-old, and originally from Regina, Saskatchewan, but my family moved all over central Canada for a good ten years before settling here in Edmonton where we’ve been for about eight years now.

How and when did you first find out about jackassworld?

I think my brother Randy, a/k/a “Randle” of jackassworld fame, stumbled across it one day and told me about it. It was the soft launch at the time, but we both were going through withdrawals with no more Wildboyz and jackass number two said and done. So even a soft launch was ooey-gooey good.

Despite Jeff Tremaine’s stance on Canada, do you still support all things Dickhouse?

I’ve been meaning to ask about that. Was he turned down for a rub ‘n’ tug by a pretty Canadian girl in his formative years or something? Bitten by a Canadian goose? Fondled by a Canadian priest? Dickhouse is where I go for all things funny, so I don’t care what Tremaine says about Canada. I’m not that easily riled.

What is it aboot Canadians and jackassworld, anyway? I mean, there sure are a lot of you on here.

It might have something to do with where a lot of us grew up. There’s only a few thriving metropolises in Canada, and there’s a good deal of us who aren’t from those places. Try living in Regina, Saskatchewan with nothing to do for the formative years of your life. You just might start inventing your own fun, too. There’s no thriving nightlife or youth scene in Regina, other than getting your ass stomped or watching people drink air freshener straight from the bottle, so what do you do? You and three friends bag your collective shit and look for a taxicab paying for gas, so you can smear the dookie under his door handle and film the driver’s return from across the street. That’s what you do. So, speaking for myself, when I found out there was a show where people were doing all the stupid things I liked to do, but WAY funnier and stupider, I was hooked. The website is just the next step. The new way to get our fix. That’s my guess, anyway.

Are you concerned with the current state of your soul, I mean, seeing as we sacrificed it a few months back to the Devil Cock chair in the name of all that is unholy and poorly upholstered?

Naw. I sacrificed a goat, got circumcised by a rabbi, drank voodoo snake blood, and had a wiccan piss on me. I’m safe. Just kidding… I’m not circumcised.

I’ve heard that Edmonton has the largest organ in Canada. That’s not yours by chance, is it?

Not a chance. The words “dainty” and “petite” have both been used to describe my little gentleman. I’m basically doomed in the big dick competition. I’m half-Irish and half-Greek, and neither race is famous for being well-hung. It’s not a coincidence that all those statues from ancient Greece have such itty-bitty tallywhackers. Those were some accurate representations, let me tell you.

Who was the marblemouthed fucko responsible for naming Banff?

Banff’s not so bad. Try living in Coquitlam or Tuktiuktuk.

Is Tillicum the Mianus of Canada?

Absolutely. You should all come up and visit Tillicum.

We all know there’s a certain pecking order in North America. So who would win in a fight: Mexico or Canada?

No fighting. Canada and Mexico will just throw a big party with lots of bacon, tequila, strong beer, and burritos. America can come if it wants, but it has to behave or we’ll send Celine Dion back to Las Vegas for another three years.

Are you sure you’re not some portly lass from the bonny green hills o’ Ireland?

Not since the last time I checked, but my penis may have finally imploded since then.

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