jackassworld

Rudy Jones, Contributor to Confidence

Do you have trouble talking to girls you don’t know? Are you gay? Do you have white hair? I do! You’ve probably heard of me around America, I’m Rudy.

“I first heard of Rudy weeks ago. He was good looking, extremely well spoken, and most importantly, right on: something that can be rare in this world.”

“Where should I start, oh my God, he is hot. And smart. I heard he carries a condom everywhere cuz of all the women. And he practically lives in Vegas!”

“I am a big man. I’m 8-feet tall. I first heard of Rudy on the Internet. Excited? Yes. I love that fool, he gave me tips on life I will tell my kids if I ever meet Mrs. Right. He gave me an edge, and was worth every hundred dollar bill I had.”

“Rudy? That mo-fo is down. I thought I’d never get out of the ghetto, and look at me now, I work in one of the high-rises in downtown LA. I’m on fire! Thanks to Rudy. Peace.”

“Level-headed, and a great fuck. What more can I say.”

Well, there you have it. Rudy will alter your life with his seminars. You will be changed right when you walk out of the auditorium. Tell no lie, chump. Some things are a definite waste of money, but every penny spent on Rudy is a fair share sent up the right pipe.

Prizes for most successful include a free spelunking trip to Jesse James’ old hide-out. Rudy has never been to California, so we have to work with what we have. Actually, if you’re like a super hip westcoastener, you may want to skip Rudy: not even sure if spelunking is your hunk of interest, but his speeches will help you along spiritually with surfing and everything else under the sun.

Rudy, once a poor man, now altering the world like no present performer in Hollywood ever has. The next James Dean perhaps? You never know with good old R. Jones.

Now come on out, Rudy!!!

(photo by Earl Parker; Los Angeles, CA; 2009)

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