jackassworld

I know this may come as a surprise but I used to be into comics when I was a kid. Well, probably well past the point of being a kid, but hey, I had a social void to fill and what better way to do so than following the musclebound antics of psychologically conflicted men and women in tights. Or at least that’s the genre I started out with. Like any good OCD case study, I dove into the medium headfirst and eventually clawed my way straight down to its most base and entertaining bottom with Robert Crumb’s equally conflicted T&A fantasies.

On my way down to the underground, though, I did pass through several other strata of comics, including the now staple Japanese manga. Unfortunately this obligatory fascination occurred in the early to mid-80s, back when the genre mostly consisted of robots and not so musclebound but really big-eyed men and women in tights. It was only in the years to follow that manga matured into its now more popularly known form of perversion-filled tomes bursting with boobies, cocks, and fluid of all flavors flying all over the place … with the occasional robot thrown in for good measure.

I only know this because in my alter-working-ego I’m an artist by trade, and for a good ten years I drew graphics for Hook-Ups, a skateboard company primarily based upon the Japanese anime-stylings of girls in ridiculously busty and camel toe-baring poses. Some people have since drawn the mistaken conclusion that I’m an artist of anime caliber, but no. I’m merely a sponge that can sufficiently mimic most any style of black-and-white line art. Alternate translation: I’ll happily prostitute my skills for any stream of income, which brings me in a typically long, roundabout fashion to the point of this post.

For the release of the new cinematic action game Ninja Blade, XBOX hopped into bed with VICE to birth a prequel story to the game and then release it as a traditional manga-style serial online. Drawn by Steven Cummings, it tells the story of Ninja Blade mainstay Ken Ogawa’s “journey from punk kid to sword-wielding, zombie-destroying, world-saving bad-ass” (think Emilio Estevez in Repo Man, minus the ’64 Chevy Malibu, Harry Dean Stanton, and kick-ass punk soundtrack), and seeds a few key plot points from the game along the way.

XBOX is releasing a new chapter every Tuesday through the release of the game on April 7th, over at www.stoptheinfected.com, along with game demos, trailer and more backstory. Chapter 3 was released here last Tuesday, and you can click here to download Chapter 2. Go to www.viceland.com next Tuesday for the Final Chapter, or this place to download a PDF.

Now that our contractual obligation is out of the way, I’m thinking it’s about time somebody license our stupid likenesses here to create a jackassworld comic. Based on the Ninja Blade spread above, I’m already thinking something like this:

JOSH LINGENFELTER: Confrontational and well-fed, Josh’s blood alcohol percentage level may contain the key to defeating Flux.

GREG WOLF: His high-stressed attitude keeps his coworkers entertained even in the face of certain unemployment.

RICK KOSICK: With seven-years of Final Cut experience, he is the most skilled worker on the staff and he knows it. His overconfidence could spell his own doom … or at the very least a blast of Silly String.

SEAN CLIVER: He alone knew that In order to save mankind he must no longer make any mankind. Following a routine vasectomy procedure, he was left with the extraordinary power to confuse the community and make no sense whatsoever.

more ninja blade:

click here for more ninja blade