jackassworld

“that was the first time i ever fingered a guest before.”
—johnny knoxville, the day after filming a one bourbon episode with andy bell

“if i’m not gonna see 50, i’m gonna live 50.”
—dimitry elyashkevich

“with this much make-up on it would be  a crime not to.”
—steve-o, after shanna zablow told him he looked great at tuesday night’s dancing with the stars

“phil margera is a good lookin’ naked man.”
—wee-man, on good lookin’ naked dudes

“so it’s come to this.”
—wolfie, upon realizing he was a prize in the lucky cucumber contest

“is it just me or is bam getting to be fat like phil. he looks bigger now and his face if hairy now which is weird to me but I like it.”
—crazy emily, a community member, after watching bam’s my awesome crap episode

“when I write the word ‘steve-o,’ my iphone tries to figure out the word i’m writing. so i wrote s-t- and, in a not so strange twist of fate, the iphone spits out the letter “d” as the next logical letter.”
—johnny knoxville

“hey jeff, i put you on the list tonight for dancing with the stars as a celebrity, per your request.”
—shanna zablow, informing the emperor jeff tremaine that his ticket and status for dancing with the stars was secure

“there’s probably a lot of places around here to take naps, yeah?”
—loomis fall, when seeing bam margera’s west chester estate for the first time

“i wish i was that stupid.”
—chris pontius, regarding ehren mcghehey

“i just realized that a lot of the times people get hurt is when you ride tandem. i never realized that before! maybe i did, but then i forgot again. one thing that i’ll never forget is in mad max Ⅲ when tina turner shouts, ‘two men enter, one man leaves!’ i would totally fuck that crazy bitch in a second!”
—chris pontius, in a random group email

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