jackassworld

“exactly how much are you hanging out with dimitry? i’m concerned for your well being.”
—sean cliver to lauren graham, upon overhearing she’d been hanging out with him recently

“is that dimitry or mario from mario brothers?”
—joyjoy, a community member, regarding dimitry’s current look

“since when did dimitry adopt the ’70s porno producer look?”
—nyte, a community member, regarding dimitry’s current look

“bless his heart, wolfie couldn’t hem a hog in a ditch.”
—nyte’s mom, a community member’s mom, when she was shown wolfie on the office web cam

“i have to do them high on skittles now as drinking isn’t allowed.”
—deborah, a community member, regarding the effect her pregnancy has had on her live web shows

“can i go out for a smoke and chill out for a second?”
—mike g. to rick kosick, prior to shooting a mailbag segment

“man, i have mr. snuffleupagus eyelashes.”
—johnny knoxville, transfixed by the beauty of his own eyelashes

“i farted myself out of my own bay.”
—mark hansen, an extremely large jackassworld editor, disgusted by his own ass

“last time rick was in a good mood the fan got its ass kicked.”
—brickbat, a community member, when others in the live web cam commented on rick’s apparent jolly demeanor

“you know why i’m fat? because i’m rich.”
—jeff tremaine, responding to his agent’s comment about jeff putting on weight

“sure feels a lot better than it looks!”
—josh lingenfelter, regarding the inside of a vagina

“i don’t get drunk, i just get less inhibited.”
—derek freda

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