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We used to have these two guys, Barry Smoler and Knate Gwaltney, that did all of our research on Wildboyz. Knate, for example, was the one who discovered the nudist colony in Slidell, Louisiana. Barry … I’m still not sure what Barry can be held responsible for, aside from maybe offending a lot of the people we worked with. Anyway, part of their job description as “Field Producers” involved following up on the fruits of their flora, fauna, and cultural research with “fixers” in each specific country visited by the Wildboyz production.

I should note that this “research” generally consisted of a pretty ridiculous “wish list” of sorts, and I would often pass by their office to hear them on the phone going, “Hey, uh, can you guys hook us up with a [fill in the blank] so our guys can, uh, [fill in the blank] with it?” At which point, the foreign production company would look into it on their end to see what if anything could be done that remotely resembled our fantasies, be it a Satanic worship service with Tasmanian devils, getting wasted with cannibalistic crazies, or licking the foot of a random Hindu man.

There were, of course, instances where things became lost in translation from our American absurdities to foreign/cultural interpretation. Can you imagine if on this particular occasion our Brazilian production team had misinterpreted the request for a “gigantic black caiman” and instead took the Wildboyz out to the middle of the Amazonian rainforest only to present them with a gigantic black gay man? How awkward would that have been? Or maybe it wouldn’t have been awkward? They were the Wildboyz, after all.

But had it been a gigantic black gay man that Steve-O tried to vault over here, I can’t imagine the stakes would’ve been that much different in the end, seeing as both beasts would clearly attempt to gobble Steve-O’s pole had he slipped up mid-stunt.

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