jackassworld

Okay, hold on a second before you call the “waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahmbulance.” First off, this piece is “technically” not in the official jackass online archive yet. The “Flashback” is, yes, but this is just the straight segment as it originally aired back in 2000. (If you’d like to view the behind-the-scenes on this doomed stunt and the origin of Bunny the Lifeguard, though, then by all means click here to be flushed back in time through the toilet of our memories.) If you have anything to cry about it’s the fact that this was left off every single jackass DVD release to date; I mean, it’s pretty much a signature piece from the first season and, as such, it’s almost criminal to have glossed it over in the mad rush to aftermarket sales and digital glory.

The below text is repurposed from the original “Flashback” post, but just pretend you’re stuck in Bill Murray’s version of Groundhog Day and you’ll be just fucking fine.

Approximately one month after evaluating the finished jackass pilot, MTV threw caution to the wind and officially picked up the show for debut in the network’s fall 2000 line-up. Immediately following the short order for eight episodes, Jeff Tremaine and Johnny Knoxville hit the ground running—so fast and hard, in fact, that there wasn’t even a formal production crew in place before Knoxville was already on crutches thanks to the “Roller Jump,” a silly little stunt involving roller skates and his astonishing lack of coordination.

Seeing as the majority of us were children of the ’70s, our foremost inspiration in the daredevil sense came from the audacious master himself: Evel Knievel. Taking a nod from Evel’s classic Snake River jump—a failed one, incidentally, but no less fantastic in that it involved a rocket-powered motorcycle of sorts and a 1,580-foot wide chasm—Knoxville decided to tackle a gap of his own on the most famous river in Southern California: the Los Angeles River.

Now for those of you not familiar with the LA River, it’s probably not exactly what you’d imagine. Instead of a scenic river winding through the more nature-oriented nooks and crannies of the county, it’s actually a spider’s web of cement drainage ditches cutting across the Greater LA Basin. The original purpose of this engineered river was to control rainwater from the surrounding mountain ranges and funnel it safely through the area and out into the Pacific Ocean, but it now mainly collects urban runoff and sewage. It’s also one of those places you really wouldn’t be surprised to find a dead body floating around in.

Traveling throughout the San Fernando Valley and into Downtown LA, the assorted ditches vary greatly in size, from the width of a common driveway gap to the expansive stretch of a 45-year-old whore’s vagina, the latter of which is famous for its appearances in big-time Hollywood movies, like Grease, Point Break, Repo Man, and,most recently, Transformers. Jackass, however, was not a big-time Hollywood production, nor was Knoxville a big-time Hollywood stuntman. So he simply focused on a much smaller and lower profile section of the LA River located in the vicinity of Universal City.

To the average person peering over the bridge on Lankershim Blvd. that afternoon in June 2000, it must have appeared a rather motley scene: Knoxville was struggling to roll about on his skates with a small American flag perched atop his helmeted head; Chris Pontius, in his first appearance as “Bunny the Lifeguard,” was spouting off random nonsense to a cameraman while gearing up in spandex biker shorts, a flowery bikini top, bunny ears, kook shades, and a breakaway emergency G-string; Rick Kosick was precariously perched above the rushing river of filth on an aluminum extension ladder, arguing with Tremaine over what the best angle would be (I don’t remember if they were actually quarreling at the time or not, but I honestly can’t recall a shoot when they weren’t yelling at each other in some respect); and then there was a small, lone launch ramp that was placed on one edge of the gap, the distance of which was about ten-feet across.

Knoxville’s first jump wasn’t so much a jump as it was a rolling stumble. The second his wheels touched the base of the launch ramp he pitched forward and barely cleared the ramp into the river below. Although this attempt was loaded with the funny of failure, Knoxville knew he had to give it another try. In doing so, however, he leaped with all his stupid might and stuck his foot straight down into the sludge below, a few good feet shy of the other side, and promptly sprained his ankle to the point where he might have been better off just breaking it.

This injury was a rather unfortunate outcome (although not entirely unexpected), as the “Roller Jump” was the first of many, many bits Knoxville had planned to shoot in the coming weeks. But true to form, he continued on course—crutches, brace, and all—hobbling throughout a number of tricky bits, including “Sumo Wrestling,” “Boxing,” “Squid Suit,” “Bread Suit,” and several others from the first season.

more jackass:

	read: jackass not on dvd blog archive
	watch: jackass unseen video archive