jackassworld

Sorry, but here is a late entrant to the “office cam week in review.” On Friday afternoon, I purposely sat my stupid ass down with a small plastic football in hand and patiently waited for Seth to finish up a conversation with Loomis and start walking toward his office (he was off camera just to the right). The second he turned away from Loomis and entered the frame of the web cam, I casually flung the ball toward his crotch and successfully nutted him in spades—to what I presumed would be the mass enjoyment of 131 live viewers.

While Seth was rendered speechless in the magical way that simple taps to the ballbag evoke, I quickly scrolled through the comments to check reactions. Expecting to see butt loads of “hahas” and that “lol” shit, I couldn’t have been more disappointed to see that the bulk of the members were preoccupied in fantasy bidding for Loomis (minutes prior to the deed, Seth had put the message “Loomis for sale” up on the screen) and missed the action for the most part. But I was even more put out when I asked if there was anyone that actually had seen it and I started seeing comments pop up like, “You distracted me from my bidding to be honest,” “Not my ‘cup’ of tea,” and “I like your jeans today, they compliment your shape.” Fucking ingrates. Where’s Intermission when you really need her, anyway? After that I just plain felt bad about hobbling the poor bastard, but luckily Tim was quick on the draw and nabbed this screenshot before the unappreciated deadeye dick shot was lost to eternity.

However, later on that day, Seth asked me if I knew where the stun gun brass knuckles were. I said, “No… no, I don’t,” to which he happily responded, “That’s good, because I do.” Goddamnit.