jackassworld

In community terms it was pretty much the “Wild West” here on the site prior to Flux implementing its email verification process. Multiple user IDs were becoming the increasing norm and for a time we thought it was someone we knew that was masquerading behind the homoerotic comments of Dickhouse. Something about their remarks sounded too close to home, almost uncannily so, with an insight to the mind and workings of Jeff Tremaine.

So when it finally became necessary to run a few IP address checks for transparency purposes, Dickhouse’s was thrown into the lot of stand-out suspects with the idea that his/her IP address would originate from within our very office walls. But it did not. So in a way, this “Who the hell are you?” has been a long time coming—all double entendre aside.

Who are you, how old are you, and where are you from?

My name is Mitch Haase. I am a 37-year-old heterosexual male living in San Francisco. Check out my homoerotic blog for heterosexuals if you want to know more about me.

How did you find about jackassworld?

The jackass 2.5 launch.

You’ve made it clear that you could jerk it to just about anything, but is there anything that you definitely could not jerk it to?

Probably not. The crew at sfjacks.com have made sure my spank bank is as wide open as possible.

Someone here in the office thought your user ID pic was Dom DeLuise. What would you say to that person now?

It is Dom DeLuise, from his brilliant performance in Blazing Saddles. I would say to that person, “You are correct, sir.” I always thought the character Dom DeLuise played in Blazing Saddles was Tremaine’s primary influence as a director and as a person.

Do you feel the story of the three little pigs could’ve been vastly improved, like if say the second little piggy had met a man with a bundle of dicks instead of sticks?

Absolutely. That probably would have been the inspiration I needed as a child to go full bore queer.

Hypothetically speaking, you’re given an all access pass to Mister Merlin’s new dungeon. How many Gummi bears do you think you could earn in one night’s time?

A lot. I have jerked it to his catalogs daily since you good people featured his wares. The toilet paper ball gag is my favorite.

What did Santa bring you for Christmas?

Christmas ain’t here yet. What is ye, ig’nant?  When he does visit, I hope he brings me lots of inflatable butt plugs and a full-size print of the Van Toffler mural for my living room.

As a young lad, Chris Pontius once hung pots and pans from his penis to enhance its length. Have you ever done something like this?

I go for girth, not length. A light fluffing while I work seems to do the trick as it has always tended to go wide. By the time I get home my cock is wide and fat like Tremaine’s ass. Ultimately I hope to make my cock wider than it is long.

Do you have any words of advice for Jeff Tremaine in the coming new year?

It is hard to advise a genius whose work has been one of my life’s great inspirations. Seriously. For me, Jeff Tremaine has had as much an influence on my world view as Spike Jonze, Kubrick, the Coen brothers and Scorsese. If I had to say something, it would be “read my blog whenever you get homoerotic writer’s block,” but I doubt that’s ever been a problem for him.

And speaking of the new year, what are your top three resolutions for 2009?

Shave my nut sack more often, hire a new crop of fluffers, and wash my ass daily.

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