jackassworld

I am, as they say, home for the holidays at present. And I guess it’s only fitting that after all the ribbing I gave you less fortunate types stuck in winter climes, I am now sitting smack dab in the middle of Wisconsin on my ice cold ass. Yes, since I first landed in my home state on Saturday the temperatures have not risen above 6 degrees Fahrenheit, which, I have to admit, sure feels better than the 12 below zero that it was yesterday. You always hear how a witch’s tit is cold, but bloody hell, the Midwest is one dead fucking witch right now. Anyway, though it might sound like I’m on vacation, I still have to attend to duties of a sort, one being the yearly visitations with relatives. For example, today we went to see my 90-year-old grandfather, who currently resides in a Veteran’s home (a place that I’ve since learned is one of the perks to his serving in the United States armed forces during WWII when he was stationed in the South Pacific). He’s always said I was his favorite grandson—the joke being I am his only grandson—but while we there he called out loudly to one of the women orderlies passing in the hallway saying, “Hey blondie! This is the jackass from Hollywood!” I think he meant this in a good way, but wow, what an odd ring that has to it…