jackassworld

There’s at least a couple people who bemoan the death of Big Brother. Apparently skateboarding needs “something like that.” It’s true, skateboarding can appear to be a bit too serious—a bit too cool, if you will—at times. Which is comical when you think about the skateboard industry as just a bunch of men riding around on a wooden toy. And they’re worried about their image?

Imagine if there was a hopscotch industry. “Hopscotch Magazine!” Photos of all these dudes looking all hard with their flashy clothes and diamonds on their fingers. Pulling up to the hopscotch park in a dope Hummer with dubs. Bus bench ads with the hopscotch xgames gold medal winner. Shit would be dope, dude.

Fortunately there are still people who ride skateboards and realize how fucking retarded it is. Some of those people are in the Midwest and they call themselves “Beez.”

I first read about the Beez videos in The Skateboard Mag a few issues ago. So I made some inquiries and was eventually contacted by Russ Clark, the head Bee himself. He kindly sent me a DVD. And I must say, this is not your usual skateboard video. Like the original review I read about it, I don’t really know what to say other than, “Delightful.” I haven’t seen anything like this since the Tiltmode video. If you’re sick of the usual flippity-flippy-huck-myself-off-a-cliff skate video, than this is for you. Even if you don’t skate, you’ll enjoy this video. Do yourself a favor.

Extra bonus review notes: One of the Beez fellas has a cat named Gary. That makes three cats named Gary. Mine, the Beez Gary, and Birdo from Consolidated’s Gary. The Beez Gary was originally named Doug, but one night Russ was staying at Doug’s house and Doug kept him up all night. In the morning, an unrested Russ complained about his sleepless night and mistakenly referred to the cat “Gary.” My Gary was named Gary because I thought he was a girl and Gary is one of the stupidest names on the planet.

The name “Beez” comes from a story about two of Russ’ childhood friends. Nerd brothers, apparently. They were in the backyard when they… here I’ll let Russ tell the story:

“The Beez name comes from a story about two nerds I knew in high school. They weren’t totally socially awkward, but they were definitely ‘indoor kids’ (one of them was afraid of deer). I’ll try to make it concise:

Basically, these two nerds are hanging out in a backyard. They simultaneously spot a swarm of bees, turn to each other, and scream “BEEEEEEEEEEEEES!” in an involuntarily shrill, girlish tone. Sprinting toward the front yard, they first had to navigate a three-foot-wide, 15-foot-long corridor with an incredibly sharp turn at the end. The new black top driveway was slick as ice, and they barreled out of the turn and onto the driveway at the wrong trajectory, and with way too much momentum. Almost immediately after reaching what they thought was a safe zone, they were both about to eat shit, big time. One of them hits the ground face first, pinning his glasses between his face and the driveway, pushing pieces of the broken lenses into his face. Both were on the ground, stunned by the fall. One of them had a bloody face with broken glass sticking out of it. Yet, they were both laughing hysterically.

“That story seemed to match part of what we’re interested in. Just charging at something recklessly, for the most stupid and pointless reasons. A moment of pure, ridiculous chaos that’s performed seriously, but with silly (and often painful) results.”

You can get the DVD at http://beez.wiskate.com for $10 (shipping included). Do it.