jackassworld

Hollywood is full of nuts. Every city  has its colorful characters, but the true blue lunatics, the real basket case, live in Los Angeles. Take my friend Crash Richard, for instance. He moved out to LA from New Orleans after Katrina hit and started a band called The Deadly Syndrome (album on sale now at iTunes). Now Crash is sweet, gentle, and a very talented singer. I consider Crash a friend, and i like him very much, but he is cuckoo bird.

A couple of weeks ago, Crash said he was quitting our production company Dickhouse Entertainment and going to work in a bike shop. Um, okay. We thought he had it pretty good at Dickhouse. We let him off  to tour with his band anytime he wanted and didn’t break his balls when he sometimes forgot to come into work anywhere close to on time. You wanna go work for a bunch of pedal pushers, go right ahead. We were a little confused, but due to the fact that Crash is a little mercurial by nature we weren’t really too shit-all shocked.

We were, however, a little surprised a few days later when Derek Freda, who runs our website jackassworld.com for us, walked into Dickhouse and started talking to Crash about his start dates at jackassworld. Huh, what?! At jackassworld RIGHT DOWN THE HALL FROM DICKHOUSE?! Crash makes up a story about leaving Dickhouse to work in a bike shop because he is really taking another job 75-feet away at jackassworld—what was the thought process here? Maybe they will think I am a new hire? Maybe they will think I have a twin? Oh brother, Crash really takes the cake, because he went with my first hypothesis. He shows up to work for jackassworld his first day with his hair and eyebrows dyed bunny white! Wow, where did Crash go? What’s your name little boy? Have we met?! When everyone started givin’ him the business about his “disguise,” he mumbled something about having to dye his hair for a TV commercial. Okay, Colonel Sanders, whatever you say. Unbelievable.

The most obnoxious part of this story is that Crash came out smellin’ like a rose. No one even got mad at him. You know, I am seriously considering running a tighter ship around here. Los Angeles is chock full of batshit crazies and Shanna and Tremaine usually end up hiring em’ to work for us.