jackassworld

This is kind of like early Dyrdek. Does anybody get that? No, probably not. I’m getting to be like my dad: he used to have conversations with himself in his head and then include the rest of the family mid-way through. “So I told him,” he’d say out of nowhere, “it’s case-hardened chain…” and then he’d look at us for a response. “What the hell are you talking about?” we’d say. “Case-hardened chain. You don’t know what case hardened chain is?” So let me go back to how my brain was working before I came up with that stupid first sentence.

In the 80s, they took away the skateparks. So we built our own: backyard ramps. Then came street skating, but in the 90s they (who is “they,” by the way?—for an entertaining take on conspiracy theories, try Jon Ronson’s Them) took away the streets. So we built our own… well, WE didn’t build shit, but Dyrdek went and built the street plaza. Get it? Like you can’t skate the handrailings in the street so you make your own? Bam made his own? With humans? Like Dyrdek… ?

It still doesn’t make any sense. Nevermind.

This issue of Big Brother (issue 74), which this bit emblazoned the cover of (a fine cover photo by Mr. Kosick), also contained a full interview with Bam (which we will post in its entirety next week), plus the first Whale Cock ad (in which I’m hugging Morrissey), and the article in which I Naired my ass. That was the worst month of my life. And you can read about it here.