jackassworld

Earl Parker is the legendary former editor and head writer on Big Brother magazine. In his earliest and most desperate days on the job in 1992, Jeff Tremaine was not only his boss but his sole benefactor. Every morning, Jeff would walk into the one room magazine office that doubled as Earl’s bedroom and toss him a package of pink Hostess snowballs and a bottle of Cherry Bomb blue drink for breakfast. It is still debated to this day whether or not this forced diet had an adverse affect upon Earl.

His name is Jeff. He owns us all, but swell favors and noticed, and written about within his schematic. He was nice enough to buy me my first iPod for Xmas, loaded with songs. He is a nice guy, and I am interested.

2 Live Crew: Never listened. I don’t know if I’m a rap guy, but a lot of people are. Not including Loomis.

3rd Bass: That’s a kick ass name. Probably pretty good. But who buys music anymore.

7 Seconds: For some reason unknown. I never quite listened to this band as much as the other classic punk ones.

38 Special: It’s a gun thing.

50 Cent: I’m not with the times with this one. Pretty hot dude though.

A Flock of Seagulls: This shit is “okay.”

A Tribe Called Quest: This is some listenable shit.

Abba: This band is popular in Midwest college towns. “Dancing Queen” is totally dope. Most agree.

Adolescents: This shit is awesome punk rock. Get into it.

Agent Orange: One of the best bands of all time.

Air Supply: Ha ha, Jeff’s into this. A famous joke is when you’re tuning a radio and one of the stations is empty, it’s them.

Alanis Morrisette: I guess, who knows. She started off in Canada, weirdos up there.

Angry Samoans: Topnotch. Get the drift?

At the Drive In: Rare stuff. Not for everyone. Overcast music.

B-52s: Kate Pierson rules. Jeff actually saw Fred Schneider at a club in NY.

Bad Religion: Better to go to their show.

Bee Gees: Somebody asked me why I have a Bee Gee’s CD? Because I like them. Disco forever.

Beck: Simply not rad enough for me.

Big Country: Dope. They have a “title song.” Only one on the unit.

Big Drill Car: Standard kick ass punk-type band. People that have never heard it “and never will” are missing out.

Billie Holiday: Great artist. Good to listen to late at night.

Boston: Not as good as you’d hope.

The Breeders: “Cannonball” is rad.

Built To Spill: Good but I’m getting too old.

Butthole Surfers: “Kuntz” is a great song. Austin, Texas cunts.

The Byrds: In case you haven’t heard, Jim Morrison is dead. Put down the pipe!

The Cars: These guys are fantastic, they can rock!

Creedence Clearwater Revival: A good band is one that you know is this when you hear it playing.

Cream: Swell psychedelia. I’m over it.

The Cure: Stands the test of time. Will always be good stuff.

Davie Bowie: My Dad thinks they’re too faggy. Oh well, still amazing music. What style.

The Descendents: “Coolidge” a perfect song. If you’ve never heard this band, it’s too late. Get a life.

Devo: Has some amazing numbers. I was really into them in high school. Quite the dudes.

Diana Ross: This shit is awesome. “The Last Days of Disco?” That rules. Go Diana!

Duran Duran: I lost my virginity with the World Industries secretary while this played.

Eazy-E: Awesome. A fine addition to rap.

The Hives: Quoted as being “the best shit ever.” Pretty close.

Huey Lewis and the News: Jeff has impeccable taste. “The Power of Love” is a cool song. God I miss the eighties, gone forever.

Lady Sovereign: I don’t buy it. Go back to school.

Madonna: Is great. Fuck off if you don’t think so.

Man or Astro Man: Get into it, or take a hike!

Material Issue: The lead singer killed himself. The songs rest as art.

MC Lyte: Has a great song “Cold Rock a Party.”

Olivia Newton John: Scintillatingly sex. Unfortunately my Christmas gift didn’t come with this box. It will never happen.

The Outfield: Should be listed in record stores under the “glory section.”

Pavement: Music sluts listen to make them feel less guilty.

Pixies: Not for everyone. Still great though.

The Police: These guys are the fuckin’ shit!

Public Image Limited: Quote from the song “Rise,” “The written word is a lie!” It probably is. Please forgive me for all the weird shit I wrote about people.

REM: Who wants music from a guy that’s a movie producer too?

Ramones: Loomis said I listen to this because I’m an outsider. I don’t have the time anymore to be an outsider.