jackassworld

Part 4

Part 5

We’re not “very, very, very upset,” but we are “very, very upset.” Which, of course, is exactly one third less upset than we were yesterday. Yesterday we were as upset as my parents were when they saw the first Big Brother video. “Needless to say, David,” my mother said, “your father and I are very, very, very upset.” I think it was the part with me waving my dick around outside a mini van going 100mph that got their goat? Who can bame them? I know I’m still disappointed by that scene. I sometimes have nightmares that I fell out and landed on the highway and died. It’s a miracle I didn’t. Anyway, we’re slightly less upset with, but not as upset, as my mother was at me. So that’s good for you. You can whittle away at our disappointment by simply watching these goddamn Wildboyz Over and Out clips. I don’t understand why you don’t? If it’s Steve-O’s voice that bothers you—perfectly understandable for a young person your age—just turn the sound off on your computer. Why do you have it on anyway? Do you actually listen to shit out of those little, tinny speakers? You need to stop doing that. That makes me very, very, very, very upset. Anyway, Steve-O doesn’t talk that much on these two because his mouth is either full of puke, or his ass is full of Elk cock. Let’s try and get this down to at least “upset.” We’re always going to be upset with you, we just hate being anywhere near “very upset.”