jackassworld

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

I guess this would be considered a three-pack? I know, I can’t get drunk on three either. I need at least 12. Don’t worry, we’re going to give you plenty. But you have to drink these three first. Don’t, like, open one and then set it on the mantle and forget about it and go help yourself to another one. When you start one, you need to finish it. If you don’t, you’re a “cheerleader.” That’s someone who opens something, takes a sip of it, holds onto it for an hour, then leaves it on the mantel. “WOO! I’M PARTYING!” No, you’re not. You’re cheerleading. And the host of the party has to pour all that shit out tomorrow. So we’ll give you more, but you have to finish these after you open them. And we’ll know whether you finish them or not. We’ve installed some new, weird, web software that will track your movements. We will not only know what you did last summer, but what you’re going to do tonight. This new software will tell us what kind of car your mom drives. It will show us which hand you wipe your butt with. It will show us the JC Penny bra model you jacked off to as a child. Yes, it will tell us everything. But most importantly, it will tell us whether you watched these Wildboyz episodes or not. So watch them. You have to. Because I told you so. “What if I don’t?” What if I don’t? How dare you. You just watch them. Because if you don’t, we will know that you didn’t. And then we will be very, very, very upset.