jackassworld

After an exciting week with way more ups than downs, I wanted to write a little bit about our adventure and the people who went on it.

Steve-O: We went up to see Steve-O at his sober living facility in Pasadena, CA (home of the Rose Bowl). I was nervous, because I hadn’t seen the O in five months. I was immediately blown away at how good he looked and how well he was doing. Steve-O is doing great and it was awesome getting to hang out. We went to a local skate park and lunch (tacos) and then went back to O’s house to film a collaborative music video for his new vampire song, “Time To Die” (I played belly drum).

Dave England, a/k/a DW2K: Dave took his kids to school in Ojai, CA, so he was the last one to make it to the office the morning we departed. Dave parked his conversion van and skated up to where we were all standing with a 32-ounce sports drink bottle filled with his own piss and the biggest smile of the trip (that is until later on when Rick Kosick got all stoked on that coconut shrimp in Santa Barbara). After a short U.S. Navy level peer pressure session, Davey started drinking. He passed the piss drinking part of Navy Seal training with flying colors. It was the perfect way to kick off the “JAW road trip.”

Danger Ehren: Just like he always does, Ehren stole the show. Ehren is an interesting dude. I’m not a 100-percent sure he’s not putting on an act. Danger is either really smart or really dumb. I don’t think we’ll ever know the real Ehren. When you mix being a complete hypochondriac with the jackass lifestyle you get quite a spectacle. Danger informed me that he’s “getting ready to go postal on everybody if this unprecedented abuse continues.” Ehren, you’re a celebrity with nice cars, houses, a hot girlfriend, and your own successful business. You’re right … your life does suck.

Wee Man: Jason is half-Mexican, half-German, and all man. In the south they call it getting “keened on,” which is when a fan comes up to you and basically goes nuts. Wee Man gets keened on more than Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton put together. Jason is one of the most recognizable people in the country. Adults want pictures, kids want hugs … people truly love the “Golden Midget.” Wee Man is super nice to his fans, which makes it even crazier that he is often sadistic and borderline evil in front of the cast and crew. Dimitry asked me what Wee Man would be like if he had his body and was 6’ 2”? I told him the truth and that’s that Wee Man would be the starting fullback for the Washington Redskins.

Chris Pontius: I’m so glad Chris is back from Ireland. Party Boy is the glue that holds jackass together. Everybody will be talking about the Zorb ball accident, so I won’t dwell on that. It was cool to see Pontius’s kick-ass hometown of San Luis Obispo, CA, which is arguably the nicest town in California. Home of California Polytechnic State University, SLO is smog-free, clean, and safe, but it also has the progressive feel of coastal California with Starbucks, vineyards, and Obama signs. Chris grew up in a great house with spectacular views of Madonna mountain and the Twin Sisters mountain range. Speaking of sisters, Pontius’s sister hooked up our Grey Wolf Cellars private tour and wine tasting in Paso Robles, which was one of the highlights of the trip. Thank you to the Pontius family and to the people of San Luis Obispo, CA.

Loomis Fall: I have traveled a lot of places with Loomis and have spent a lot of time with him over the years. I thought nothing could top our travels to Japan. I was wrong. Spiced rum, witty comments, and the ability to climb anything are definite assets in our world. Loomis owned the Grey Wolf vineyard. He shined like gold. I do feel bad Loomie dropped his iPod off the “Lost Boys” bridge—10,000 songs lost in the drink. I have never met anybody who loves music as much as Loom. He was strong but it had to hurt losing all that rock ‘n’ roll. Damn, that’s a lot of songs … that’s the equivalent of dropping a thousand music CDs off the bridge. Modern technology is cool, but where are the hover-board skateboards Michael J. Fox promised us in 1985?

Rick Kosick, Dimitry Elyashkevich, Sean Cliver, Scott Manning, Mike Kassak, and JxPx Blackmon: These guys aren’t just crew members. In addition to being on camera talent they are pretty much family at this point. They have seen a lot, been through a lot, and worked their asses off along the way. Every one of them skated this week (some better than others but all good). Scott gets a shout out for his sexual position demonstration at the vineyard and a special mention for informing us that he kicked Dave England’s ass within seconds of meeting him. Mike Kassak won “best skater” and he didn’t even need his blindfold to do it. JxPx, as always, had whatever we asked for in his kit no matter how random, e.g. vampire teeth. Dameech and Rick went back to their Big Brother (Little Sister) roots and had a blast shooting skate video and still shots. And I finally heard the infamous story of how Cliver got to California. It was amazing. I can tell you personally, friends, it’s a long way from Wisconsin to Hollywood. Cliver won a national art contest and just went for it. That takes balls (which now seems ironic after Sean taught us the intricacies of a vasectomy).

Mike G: Baptism by fire. Mike G is an experienced production coordinator and it shows. What he had not experienced was six days on the road with most of the cast and crew of jackass. Mike G handled it well. It’s an extremely difficult job. Everybody talks at the same time, complains, and fights about the most trivial things (me included). Except for three near fatal van accidents, Mike G came through like a champ. We had a motel roof over our heads every night and all the greasy diner food and tacos we could eat.

Preston Lacy: Being a non-skater on a skate trip has its pluses and minuses. I wasn’t sure I’d fit in on this trip and was pleasantly surprised that I had such a good time. California is a great state. Everybody should take a trip up the coast. Every trip you take it just gets better and better. We all had a good time, and I can’t wait to see where we go next. I’m lobbying hard for a Joplin, MO, road trip, but I’ve been beating that horse for years. As much as the boys like tacos (me included), I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t end up south of the border next time. I think we might have a surf trip in us. Carne Asada, brah.

(photo at top by Dimitry Elyashkevich; all other photos by Sean Cliver; 2008)