jackassworld

“is it a real lawsuit or a fantasy lawsuit?”
—dave carnie, when mike g. was talking about a fantasy football-related lawsuit between the NFL players association and CBS

“okay, so i am a little over weight, but i am big boned by nature.”
—jeff tremaine, after drinking an 8-ounce glass of tequila at dinner

“i’m just not used to being out much.”
—johnny knoxville, after being caught digging in his pants during a meeting

“can’t someone do cliff notes on this for me?”
—jeff tremaine, big time hollywood producer, complaining about reading a page and a half of notes

“god, why does it smell like such a butt in here?”
—jeff tremaine, walking into the jackassworld offices on thursday afternoon

“speaking of pee, i smelled yours last night when i was watching tv on  my couch.”
—bill weiss to clyde singleton

“can’t say there aren’t many couches i haven’t blessed with thou holy water.”
—clyde singleton, responding to bill weiss

“i need to learn how to pitch instead of catch.”
—greg wolf