jackassworld

“hey, you wanna come watch me do my catheter?”
—johnny knoxville to chris pontius

“that was gnarly. i don’t want to hear anyone complain about being buttfucked anymore.”
—chris pontius, after watching johnny knoxville administer his catheter

“we can’t all be lucky. not all of us can sit around and write about poop all day and get paid for it.”
—katie89, a community member, in response to caityjane’s complaining about having to return to school

“i have a lot of people to beat up tonight; i’ve gotta pace myself.”
—mister merlin to johnny knoxville, during a rest break while helping their friend move

“video game boy? at least I sweat playing video games.”
—dimitry elyashkevich, in a retort to greg wolf who was trying to defend his playing fantasy football

“i’m Italian, but i’m not a member of the mafia and i don’t speak english but i understand the language enough to use words like shit, pussy, cock, turd, bitch and other important words…can you help me to enter in the clan jackass?”
—a random message from “your mother,” a community member

“i haven’t seen a muff like that since 1978 when i took a bath with my mom!”
—chris pontius

“do you think if i were to put a banana in my arse right now, josh would eat it?”
—emma, a community member

“epitome of the degradation of human society and…the gene pool. somehow ‘survival of the fittest’ doesn’t apply with these jokers. some mutants must be breeding to produce these skumbags…and the worst of it is…they never injure themselves enough to…well…’kick it.’ but… because i cringed so much and actually laughed at most of it… i still enjoyed it… i suppose. it got two stars instead of one.”
—swesleyc7, in a review of jackass 2.5 on hulu.com

“you’re the dave carnie of jake phelpses.”
—dimitry elyashkevich, regarding something about carnie, skateboarding, interviews, and jake phelps

“the rainbows have gotta come down.”
—rick kosick, regarding the use of rainbow iconography on the website and the supposedly daunting effects it has on male visitors

“that was funny. and crazy rick don’t take up my crazy please.”
—crazyemily, a community member, about crazy kosick in the silly string incident

“bam must have been a victim of this.”
—kirra, a community member, regarding the possibility of african penis thieves taking bam’s penis prior to his boarding the gumball plane to china