jackassworld

“if that’s priority number one…”
—trip taylor, after witnessing a jackassworld meeting about making a “wolfie noodles” shirt

“that’s a given.”
—handsome jack, when asked how he got his name

“it’s not gay when there’s still denim between bros.”
—wee man, while demonstrating his stand-up technique on chris pontius

“i won’t watch that. i’m afraid i’ll become a lesbian.”
—shanna zablow, regarding the olympic women’s volleyball matches

“i’m still there. ask me when i’m back.”
—dimitry elyashkevich, when asked how his whirlwind trip to china went on the gumball rally

“i told him he looks like his face caught on fire and then someone tried to put it out with a fork!”
—natasha t., a community member, regarding the idiot shanna met on match.com

“in scotland we tend to keep our bushes nicely trimmed or bare. the ’70s look is just not an option with us. i hope that this helps those of you who haven’t seen a bush since the ’70s.”
—suzi, a community member, after rick kosick disparaged the grooming techniques of scottish women on jackassworld live

“kosick started out as a model for “grizzly” magazine, then became freelance photographer for poweredge and slap skateboarding magazines and built up fame as a skateboard photographer.”
—an excerpt from the wikipedia entry for rick kosick

“i should’ve gotten my tattoo on my butt. nobody would look there.”
—holli, a community member, who just got grounded for her new tattoo

“for some chicks it’s no big deal. for others it’s hell on earth…i can tear somebody apart.”
—chris pontius, live on indie 103.1, talking about butt sex with a caller

“and that would be a ‘walk off’.”
—sean cliver, soon after ex-cameraman mike g. left the “set” because kosick pissed him off at the beginning of the jackassworld live show by telling him to stop messing with the camera because it was a “lock off” shot