jackassworld

Soon after filming at the yoga facility where Knoxville “gassed” it up with all the flexible ladies, we wandered across the street to this chic little restaurant. Spike Jonze, ever in filming mode, suggested Knoxville sidle up to a petite patron and show him a different sort of cheek. Exactly how or why this slipped off the DVD list back in 2005, I have no idea, but I have to imagine the situation was similar to that of eating escolar, a particularly oily whitefish popular in French restaurants. Now what’s funny about escolar—well, it’s not that funny, because I’ve had this happen to me—is that it takes your farts and converts them to sharts. I believe it has something to do with the oil content in the fish, because the gas that eventually passes from asses will aid in discharging this yellowish liquid spray from the rectum. But, worst of all, you have no idea it’s coming because you think it’s just going to be an average every day fart. So, for instance, when you’re walking down the street, like I was in Paris one fine afternoon in the summer of 1997, you will feel a gas bubble percolating down throughout your inner plumbing and go for the innocent sneak…only to realize something has gone terribly amiss in your underpants and it’s now oozing down your inner leg. Absolutely horrible, horrible feeling. Anyway, the next time you’re making a fabulous fish dinner for family or friends, consider treating them to the prankish dining sensation that is escolar. Bon appetoot!