jackassworld

“you can’t stifle the magic, mike. rule number one.”
—rick kosick, giving mike g. acting tips

“you don’t make cum jokes when you’re opening mail from 12-year-olds.”
—mike g., pissed off at josh

“if you’re not rolling and rocking then you’re not rocking and rolling.”
—jxpx blackmon, after performing around los angeles on a flatbed truck with the virginia city revival

“he’s the best thing to happen to this site…next to you knoxville.”
—rick kosick, referring to eddie barbanell while simultaneously kissing johnny knoxville’s ass after narrowly dodging a boxing match with him

“fine, i’m taking my midget back!”
—jeff tremaine, after wee man didn’t win the top spot on celebrity circus

“what throws you off is his shape…he’s so little, but he can’t help that.”
—dave england’s mom, regarding wee man on celebrity circus

“anything can happen in the month of july. for example, one time on the 16th of july, 1974, one christopher andrew pontius was born. offended by the foul stench of his own mother’s vagina, the child refused to make his way down the birth canal and even tried to hang himself by his own umbilical cord. an emergency c-section was performed, leaving the mother with a scar on her tummy to remind her to wash more thoroughly and more often!”
—chris pontius, in an email to jeff tremaine