jackassworld

Elsewhere on this site today I brought to light the topic of my recent run-in with a hemorrhoid. Normally this isn’t something one talks about with 25,000 strangers, but I’ve never been one to adequately filter myself. I think it comes from having diarrhea of the fingers, which is funny, considering I’m actually quite constipated when it comes to the mouth and butt; meaning, I don’t talk much and I poop even less (or at least in the freely sense, with respect to the latter). Maybe there’s not enough fiber in my diet, maybe I don’t drink enough water, but whenever it comes to the matter of making a poop…well, it’s a strained situation at best. As such, my biggest fear in life is suffering a rectal prolapse. For those of you not familiar with this condition, think of it as pushing out a poo with all of your might, only to shit out your entire intestinal works in the process. Yeah, that’s one situation I really don’t care to find myself in. I mean, imagine the embarrassment of having to gather up the whole shit-and-kaboodle to go and dial 911 because you have a rectal emergency on hand—literally. Fuck, I swear I have nightmares about doing that to this day. So imagine my horror when after a particularly lengthy and painful bowel session, one of my rectal petals up and splinches itself into this irksome and irritated rosebud on my butt. Surely that’s just the first step to seeing your duodenum up close and personal, right? But I digress…after all, the only reason I wound up talking about my pooper in the first place is that it rhymes nicely with the word “blooper.” That said, here’s the Wildboyz Season 3 bloopers and outtakes from India that never made it onto the DVD collection because some shit dick done went and forgot it (or so we like to think, because none of us can remember anything now).