jackassworld

“i’m here to do a benefit for the liquor store back home. they’re going out of business now that i’m sober.”
—roger alan wade

“being sober sure complicates things, don’t it?”
—roger alan wade, on doing a “one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer” segment with knoxville

“thank god someone else is getting a quote besides me.”
—rick kosick, regarding roger alan wade being quoted in the office

“if i puff out my belly, i can’t see my balls.”
—steve-o

“not to pat myself on the back or anything, but the show would not be better without me.”
—wee man, talking about his integral role on nbc’s celebrity circus

“do i look like the kind of man that needs cotton candy?”
—rick kosick, on why he declined circus-themed snacks at a recent celebrity circus taping

“it’s in the ‘fridge, isn’t it?”
—earl parker, when asked why he was drinking a beer at 11:00 am

“just showing up for work!”
—preston lacy, with an 18-pack of beer at noon on a monday

“you’re killing the mailbag segments. do you secretly take acting lessons? no one would know that you are really an angry dick.”
—derek freda to mike g.

“do you think i am retarded? the people in my building say i am.”
—earl parker