jackassworld

Working on jackass isn’t exactly one of those professions where people are inclined to say, “Oh, your parents must be so proud!” But the truth is that all of our respective parental units more or less are—despite the first couple episodes being rather trying on their sensibilities at times. Once the initial shock wore off, though, everyone’s folks started getting into the absurd swing of things and began contributing ideas for the show. The majority of their suggestions, if not all, were of a prankish nature that relied heavily on the reactions of bystanders. Surprisingly, Jeff Tremaine’s mom had the most shocking idea of all—so shocking in fact that I’ll simply not mention it here to protect her good name and character—but unsurprisingly the best suggestion came from Johnny Knoxville’s father Phil. He thought it would be funny if two fellows walked into the sporting goods section of a department store, grabbed some boxing gloves off the wall, and initiated a match right there on the spot. Needless to say, we all liked that one a whole heck of a lot.

By coincidence Johnny had been jawing about wanting to box Jeff Tremaine (he’d even gone so far as to present him with a pair of boxing gloves for Christmas in December 2000), but Jeff had so far managed to postpone the inevitable bout between the two. However, thanks largely to Phil’s proposal of “Department Store Boxing,” there simply weren’t any excuses left for Jeff to readily seize onto. And so it came to pass in the city of Los Angeles that the “South Knoxville Strong Boy” and the “Hollywood Shitbag” went to a brief flurry of blows in an undisclosed sporting goods store. An uptight store clerk brought the fast and furious fight to a halt shortly after the acting referee Loomis Fall rang the bell initiating the first round, but the few bystanders who witnessed the spectacle went on record to award Knoxville with the win. The accompanying crew and cameramen agreed, too, since Jeff did sustain a number of blows to the face and was backed all the way up into the clothing racks at the time the match was so rudely interrupted.

Several attempts have been made since to goad the “Hollywood Shitbag” back into the ring with Knoxville for Round Two, but to date a rematch has not been scheduled. Bastardized versions of this concept have since been filmed, but we’re all still eagerly counting the days until the Executive Producers are ready to rumble once again. But who knows…perhaps if we generate enough community interest here in this battle of the Dickhouse titans it just might happen sooner than never. So what do you say, let’s see a show of hands for all those who’d like to see something like this go down for jackassworld live!