jackassworld

Part 1. The Dawning of BB (improvement on Thrasher)

My favorite part about Big Brother is the “first issue.” This guy with a big afro that was a mastermind behind WI ads I guess, and Natas made this little high-profile zine thing. By the time I officially showed up in California, Natas was on his way out cuz the thing sucked, and I was in charge officially. Walter called the office once and was taken aback by my presence. The World Industry magazine was my first stab at the adult world. It showed me that competition is tough, and I eventually started hanging out with bums around the South Bay. “They suffer, like you,” Jeff Tremaine remarked. Anyway about the first issue: this I would consider valuable only because it had to be made in order for me to take over and become world famous.

Part 2. RETRO Big Brother: “The El Segundo offices”

El Segundo is a really lame suburb where LA’s big airport is. I lived there for six straight months, mostly in Steve Rocco’s abandoned screen-printing warehouse, and saw only two chicks my age.

Sal, Steve’s brother, lived there. He had a “Primus Sucks” bumper sticker, really because he liked them: a fan of the bass. El Segundo led to Sal’s demise, it was too fast paced, as was the secretary that would stop by Sal’s old house after the new tenants showed up. She was apparently raped every evening by some retarded guy, and eventually hurt my feelings when I got word of it because I lost my virginity to her. That’s El Segundo.

Steve’s other brother, Pat, said that his brother’s design of the office soon became commonplace: once otherwise regarded as really strange, the Vietnam prison camp design offered all sort of scenarios, as you could see through the walls. I tried to write a film about my experiences that happened with me and the secretary. She was in love with me, but was too estranged.

I would sleep either under my desk, or in Steve’s VW van parked in the lot. My job was not really the dream job that many seemed to think it was. A lot of the skaters didn’t like me, and one time I came back to my office and my prescription sunglasses were broken in half. I think they thought I was racist, too. I really thought my job with World Industries would turn out better, but it was better than staying in my hometown my whole life.

One time in the evening, the board graphic artists Sean Cliver and Marc McKee were trying to get a hold of my handcuffs so they could handcuff me to my desk. I thought this was weird and got in my company car and drove it to Brookline, Massachusettes.

Another time, John Thomas yelled, “You’re up, Earl,” and as I proceeded to the darkroom for my bong hit, Steve followed me. Once inside, we pretended like we were developing photographs.

El Segundo is a really industrial place.

During the years of the other office, I was doing even worse and kind of had an awkward presence around there. That’s where Jeff met his really long-term girlfriend, and where the days continued with the same WI characters in the board factory, always located behind the offices. Sal was gone though.

This girl that came to LA a while back, Jenny Brandon, was still around. I ran out of money in my hometown in Illinois, and Jenny refused to send me the check for the article they used.

Wee Man was around now, he was cool. There’s lots of great places to eat lunch in the South Bay (the area in between Hollywood and Huntington Beach). Natas ran an advertisement for his company, 101, that was just a picture of me, with the words “El Segundo” at the bottom.