jackassworld

On this day in 1986, the United States Supreme Court ruled that states could outlaw homosexual acts between consenting adults. However, back in 1906 on this very same damn day, the United States Congress passed the Meat Inspection Act. So what gives? (more…)

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but this remains to be the one guiding principle I use when selecting a new book to read. For some time now I’ve been on a real McSweeney’s kick based on this factor alone. They put more effort into the packaging of a book than most any other publisher I’ve seen, aside from those wacko monks that used to toil away on illuminated manuscripts for years on end. Sometimes I don’t even read them; I just like to touch, feel, and wonder how to stack another totally disproportionate book on my shelves. Here’s another book I don’t care to read at all, but I’d gladly use it as a decorative fixture on my coffee table. Not that I have a coffee table, because I don’t, but if I did, I could see this paperweight taking front and center. Mainly because it’s just so amazing that after “30,000 years of art” this book’s designer didn’t see anything typographically wrong with butting up the word “of” with “art,” which leads me to believe: a) they have a lazy eye; b) they are of Irish descent and nipped a wee bit o’ the whiskey whilst sleeping on the job; c) Guy Grand is alive, well, and still fucking shit up; or d) Dave Carnie is moonlighting again.

Good job, Phaidon Press (and Johnny Knoxville for bringing this book to my attention)!

Back in the day, We wanted an office walrus at Big Brother magazine. I’m not saying I don’t want an office walrus anymore, but I’ve decided I want an office red panda more. This little fucker fucks that bitch the fuck up. Does every red panda come with Japanese sound effects?

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/07/nhead_butt_pas.html

I mean, cum-on. Do I need to say more about Chris Pontius’s sexiness? Look at this. He isn’t trying to be sexy, he is trying to look ridiculous but he can’t. He put the dick in re-dick-u-lous! Check out his gear, he is standing there in roller blades and a jockey-strap and looks gorgie’! You know what, I am going to shut up now and let you stare at the “din of Chris’s” pa-tootie.

Woof, Knoxville

(photo by Sean Cliver; Hermosa Beach, CA; 2000)

Seth Casriel may have his Wolf Den, but JxPx Blackmon has his shady prop room. So come along and enjoy, as our esteemed shady propmaster delves into the towering stacks of jackass and Wildboyz crap from absurd days gone by. You’ll see stuff like Steve-O’s fart mask, Wee Man’s ornamental cap from Thailand, Johnny Knoxville’s strap-on dildo kit, a festive assortment of Santa outfits, Bam’s infamous golden dildo, Rip Taylor’s confetti sticks, Chief Roberts’ former steed, Chico Fiesta’s Mexican party hat, and a whole bunch of other random props, garments, and gear. Best of all, a dirty peek inside the “Sexy Bag” with all its sordid man briefs and more (or less), and a scary look into the “Box of Stuff that Sucks” (or doesn’t, if you happen to be Mister Merlin).

Part 1:

Part 2:

This week’s jackassworld live episode was supposed to feature former Big Brother master journalist Earl Parker, but, like most writers, his eccentricities took center stage and he forthrightly exited stage left before the show even began (apparently he had to go tidy up his Hollywood hotel room). (more…)

“if that’s not bottom, what is?”
—derek freda, regarding dimitry elyashkevich in the “russian sunset”

“i can’t do that, i’m the face of joplin radio!”
—big ben mccarty, a local joplin, missouri, radio dj, when preston lacy asked him if he would have sex with a female donkey, a/k/a jenny, in a spin on the legendary mexican stage performance known as the “donkey show”

“anything you can do with your penis is great fun.”
—chris pontius, on the purple pony show

“why do men cheat on their girlfriends? because it’s fun! just kidding…”
—chris pontius, on the purple pony show

“there wasn’t a dry seat in the house.”
—seth casriel, following chris’s purple pony show

“i think my cat needs to be attended to after that show!”
—suzi, a jackassworld community member, following chris’s purple pony show

“i got banned before all of these people, then i took over the chat room and contributed to its demise, then i made a new account and was featured on the front page. that was all in one week. so it just shows how new you are, you stupid sack of shit. you will never achieve any such greatness.”
—balsac to the king of jaw, in a random topic on banned community members

“i’m gonna do it. i ain’t afraid. fuck, i wore a diaper in a goddamn movie.”
—rick kosick, after greg wolf expressed some hesitancy on taking his shirt off during the jackassworld live show

Last week you were introduced to jackassworld’s new weatherman Howser Bush brilliantly played by my pal Eddie Barbanell. Well, we wanted to show you the behind-the-scenes of that shoot so you can see Eddie is just as much of a smart-ass between takes as he was in the take. He is like an old borscht belt insult comic just letting everybody have it constantly. Poor Wolfie, he may now answer to “Buttzville” for the rest of his life.

Love, Knoxville

P.S. You didn’t hear it from me, but the guy who f’ed up our map of the United States was The Deadly Syndrome’s Will Etling.

Chris Pontius is no stranger to the red carpet, but what’s most noteworthy about this photo is that it was taken on the very first occasion the jackass cast was invited to step upon its plush Hollywood surface. The event was the 2001 MTV Movie Awards and, as you can see, many of the photographers are barely taking notice of Pontius’ shirtless pose. Some are even staring in bemusement, cameras shouldered, possibly wondering whom this cad might be. To add to our uncelebrity-like presence on the carpet, we were the only jokers standing around taking snapshots of each other on the carpet, basking in the ridiculous novelty of it all (note the classic Yashica T4 in Danger Ehren’s hand, right of frame). Little did we know this was merely the innocent beginning of many red carpet atrocities to come…

(photo by Sean Cliver; Los Angeles; 2001)

All in all it was a quiet week here at jackassworld—up until Chris Pontius popped his head in, that is, and agreed to mount Shanna’s “Purple Pony” for us in her absence. That’s right, in full “Shanna drag” attire, Chris ever so candidly responded to community member questions about sex, love, and the occasional atrocity in what has since been heralded as our best live show ever. Unfortunately we’ll only be able to replay 12-15 minutes from the full 75 minute stream of unexpurgated fun, filth, and ridiculous banter, but look for this extra special “Purple Pony” program to post on July 4th. (more…)